who wants to help me with my annoying problems?

betteroffalone · 09-01-2006, 03:20 PM

well here goes

so about a month ago me and my gf were like perfect we were so close and nothing seemed like it could pssibly go wrong. THEN i ended up likeing this other girl and i told my gf about it cuz i didnt want to hide anything from her. and she got really upset but she was ok with it b/c i figured i'd get over it pretty fast. and i did in like a week. but she broke up with me b/c she got scared that i would end up breaking up with her b/c of all the new girls in school and i was ok with it b/c she said i just had to get her trust back and i figured that would be easy b/c i dont think i'd like another girl. sooo after about a week i got impatient and i asked her how long it would be and she didnt know b/c i still didnt prove to her that she can trust me but there was this guy that liked her and i thot she liked him too so i asked her about it and she said that she didnt like him so i was fine with it but about a week later she was still acting like she liked him and so i started really pressureing her to go back out with me and i guess i pushed it too much and she yelled at me and said she didnt want to go out wwith again....ever soooooo that made me pretty sad but then last night she was at my football game and she was being really nice to me but then out of no where she starts crying and i didnt do anything to her so i asked her freind what was up and she said that if i wanted to go back out with her then i should leave her alone and let her get over me then realize that she wants me back...and it doesnt make any sence to me at all .....so please will someone give me some klind of advice on this??

OctaviusIII · 09-01-2006, 04:03 PM

1. Take a breath. Breathe.
2. Her friend is right. Right now it sounds like you're there too much, and you need to let go. Sheer force of will cannot get you anywhere but further from where you want to be. Let go! If you must fret, fret to yourself and your friends, but back off from her specifically. If you want her back, then yes, she needs to figure out for herself how she feels about you.

To use a silly food analogy, think about your favorite food. Now think about how it would be if that was the only food you could eat for a month. By the end, you'd probably be pretty well sick of it. Give it a break, though, and a month later you'll be back into enjoying it. If you are only there for her for a little bit, giving it a light touch, letting her know (very lightly! no grand gestures!) that you care, then it may turn out in your favor. But it's the only way out of a situation where she wants you to back off for a bit. This help?

xtremes00 · 09-01-2006, 07:05 PM

Dude...why were u liking another girl in the first place? and later on u wanna be with ur gf again??

wjarmusch · 09-01-2006, 07:16 PM

Your Girlfriend had a right to be questioning your commitment when you were telling her about this *other girl* that you liked. I agree with Octavious,
just give it some time, don't force anything. Girls seem to take longer to get over these sort of things, even if you've forgotten about this *other girl* your girlfriend hasn't forgotten. Doesn't mean she won't forgive you, but pressuring won't help.

**H.M. Murdock** · 09-01-2006, 07:17 PM

I think one of the first mistakes you made was actually just telling her, "Hey, I think I like another girl." That's not cool. Patience is important- you wait with stuff like this. If it goes away, no harm done. If it stays, it's time for a serious talk.
Let go of her. I'd say neither of you are in a position to have a relationship with anyone, let alone each other at this point in time.

shatteredshadow · 09-01-2006, 07:21 PM

yeah...i don't think you shoulda told her you liked another girl...us girls can be really emotional...lol, and i know that would have hurt me really bad if somebody ever did that to me...but yeah...and her friend is probably right...

betteroffalone · 09-04-2006, 12:37 PM

hey octavious....that should help and nice analogy lol

Mint2BeMetal · 10-19-2006, 02:13 PM

meh.....the girls too touchy....and well, you were looking at other people..at the wrong time. anyway... you two probably would have hit something harder than this later on in your relationship.. its stuff like this that's SUPPOSED to make you stronger. but if you cop out by breaking up with eachother... then purpose defeated.

Chris · 10-19-2006, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mint2BeMetal

meh.....the girls too touchy....and well, you were looking at other people..at the wrong time. anyway... you two probably would have hit something harder than this later on in your relationship.. its stuff like this that's SUPPOSED to make you stronger. but if you cop out by breaking up with eachother... then purpose defeated.

Assuming this was a high school relationship, the girl was likely in an insecure point in life. If she was looking for esteem in this relationship and looking to the OP for reassurance of herself, this would have been a lethal blow to that endeavour. This situation seems to show that one or both of the parties involved weren't ready for the relationship to begin with. The OP not quite being ready to settle with one girl and the girl looking for identity and security in the wrong places.