[KATSRUS5]

Well ... That's the one that sticks out in my head the most ... ... and I have learned to control my jealously since then ...

[KFBobInsanesMom]

Originally Posted by AcMillan22

hey bob i got a question, why would she try to keep this ex of hers as a friend, come on there must be something there. She shouldn't be seeing this guy, its little things like this that create problems. Come on think about it, she lied to him. Any girl who lies to a guy bout somin like that is a waste of time. Shawn is only going to get hurt.

So when two people decide that a relationship beyond friendship isn't right for them, they should become enemies??? There is nothing at all wrong with remaining friends with someone if you have come to realize that there is no future beyond friendship for the two of you, and you are wise enough to not destroy a friendship because of this.

[AcMillan22]

yeah but friends to a point, as i stated before. these so called post friendships are why a majority of these marriages are failling anyway.

Originally Posted by KFBobInsanesMom

So when two people decide that a relationship beyond friendship isn't right for them, they should become enemies??? There is nothing at all wrong with remaining friends with someone if you have come to realize that there is no future beyond friendship for the two of you, and you are wise enough to not destroy a friendship because of this.

[KFBobInsanesMom]

Originally Posted by AcMillan22

yeah but friends to a point, as i stated before. these so called post friendships are why a majority of these marriages are failling anyway.

No, marriages fail because of the two people who are married, not because of someone outside the marriage.

[KATSRUS5]

Originally Posted by AcMillan22

i don't think you have seen it happen have you. and as its happening now.

Please don't just assume this. Mrs. Renee has probably had much more experience then you seeing as you are just a college student. Please be respectful. The assumption you have made is a very sensitive one to many people here on the boards. You should make sure you know all the information before just jumping to a conclusion.

If BOTH parties are willing to work through their problems with each other (as no one is ever perfect) then this would not be the case. It is when one of both people within a relationship become unhappy and unwilling to work together then they begin to seek out something else. It is never an outside person who does this. It ALWAYS starts because of one or both members of the relationship. They then ALLOW someone else to interfere which usually causes a larger riff to what may have only been something small to start off with.

We must always take responsibility for our own actions and not blame it on someone else.

[ShawnTheNoob]

Its not that I don't trust her. The guy that hangs around her is a complete idiot. He is always bragging about how he banged some girl..Or hes going to. I just want to bash his face in for being so arrogant and acting like woman are just sex toys.

He did the same thing to my girlfriend. They had sex. ( Which she deeply regrets.) And eventually they broke up. Hes only around to try to score and I know it. Thats what pisses me off about it. He should respect me if nothing else and get away from her before I hurt him. Which I will if he doesn't.

Now to update the situation abit. He has stopped coming over so frequently. NOW he comes to her neighbors house all the time. Which is still irritating.

Now the only time I THINK they associate. ( Emphasis on the word 'Think'. ) Is at school. Or the occassional visit..Which really isn't frequent anymore so i'm fine with that.

- Background on the Guy-

This guy is a smoking, drinking, cussing, arrogant, sexually immoral idiot. Bad part is..Hes proud of it. He tempts me on purpose. He is currently dating a pregnant girl. ( I'm sure his only reason is to get points on his 'cool' meter so girls will allow him to get closer. ) He has no sense. I've never met someone so stupid and self-indulged.

-Questions-

This question recently arose in my mind. My girlfriend claims christianity.
I believe she is a christian. I just don't get some of her decisions. Like being dishonest with me. Why would she do that if she is a true christian?

Shes having a hard time with things in her life right now, I know. She just seems like she doesn't try as hard as she could. So I play it off as 'People make mistakes.' I'm no exception so I try to remember that.

Question is How do I go about talking to her about this?

-Girlfriends Background-

She has had a pretty difficult life. Thats still no excuse, I know. I'm just hoping thats some of the reasons for the way she acts. Her dad left her mom for another man. Her dad shot himself in the stomach while she watched. All this happened when she was a child. Now her dad has recently been put in jail for drugs and such.

Shes never known what its like to have a male around. Its always been her and her mother. Shes use to that. Shes been raped by an abusive boyfriend. All this has happened to her in the past 7 years. ( I believe that is accurate. )

She got on drugs and such at a young age. Shes now clean. She gave up drinking and smoking. Shes really progressing.

[bobthecockroach]

AcMillan, you are out of line. You will address others on this board with respect, or I will begin deleting your posts and reporting you to the admins. This is your only warning.

Actually, after thinking about it some more, I have decided to delete the posts right now. Do not reply to this post. If you have a problem with what I have done, PM me. All replies to this post and any further off-topic or inappropriate posts will be immediately deleted with no warning.

The CGR rules state:
"Treat others on the boards with respect. Do not make personal attacks on others, "flame" other users (or post flame-bait posts), or generally treat other users in a disrespectful or demeaning manner. Posts of this nature, depending on severity, will have their authors warned and/or posts edited or deleted."

[jengoesup]

Originally Posted by ShawnTheNoob

This question recently arose in my mind. My girlfriend claims christianity.I believe she is a christian. I just don't get some of her decisions. Like being dishonest with me. Why would she do that if she is a true christian?

I believe C.S. Lewis addressed this in one of his books, and forgive me if I butcher his words. But there is no such thing as a "true Christian", at least not in the sense that we try to define it. A true Christian is a person who believes in Jesus as their Lord and Saviour, and believes in everything He offers. They are not necessarily the person who consistently holds to the straight and narrow: many Christians may trip and stumble, but God is still there for them and they are still Christians. We all sin. I even lie to my parents sometimes. Does that not make me a 'true Christian'? We all are all sinners, and we will all fall short of God, and even after being saved, we will continue to sin. That's why we got Jesus. So yeah, I would say she's still a Christian. Unless she isn't believing in Jesus anymore.

[ForgivenPix]

Originally Posted by KATSRUS5

I would like to just put in my 2 cents for all it's worth because I was kind of put in this situation when I first started dating Nate (see above poster ^^^). When we began dating he had recently kind of broken up with his sort of girlfriend who had been a very long time best friend of his. She still called him obsessively and came over to visit and all. I knew how much the friendship ment to him even though I was jealous out of my skull. I shared my feelings of jealously with him, but also expressed that if we are to truly have a not only a friendship, but a dating relationship we needed to have a certain amount of trust. I encouraged his friendship with her, placing full trust in him. If you have to try and make a friend leave because you do not feel that you can trust both parties in that relationship then I do not think you should be in a relationship.

TRUST is the key word. Do you trust her? If you do not trust her in this relationship with said boy then are you going to be able to trust her in any future relationship with another close boy friend. You have to learn to control your jealously or you will lose. It is part of growing up and sharing your life with another person.

That was a good post.

[Andrew]

My only advice to you, Shawn, is this:

Go talk to your girlfriend. Take her on a date, go sit on her couch, in her backyard. Whatever. No distractions around you, and look her straight in the eye, and tell her exactly what you think of that guy, and ask her how she feels about you thinking that. Ask her if she sees any truth in what you are saying. Ask her if she is willing to work with you on this.

I don't know how old you are. But if you are over 18 than I am going to say this as well. If you consider dating to be a serious interaction to decide if marriage is a viable option, than you need to make sure that she feels the same way. IT could just be that she wants to have a boyfriend with her, simply to have a boyfriend. And you are looking for a serious relationship with a girl you can love, protect and cherish. Think about it. Why would you try and invest a million dollars in a corporation that plans to file bankruptcy in six months? That doesn't make any sense. Think about it.