[Visirale]

How we critique your essay has a lot to do with where you are applying. Can you tell us that? A Harvard essay needs to be much more outstanding than an essay to a state school... it just gives us the correct lens or perception to view your essay through.

[jengoesup]

I'm applying to the following:

Bates College (ME)
Gettysburg College (PA)
St. Mary's College of Maryland
Bryn Mawr (PA) <--Not sure on this one yet
College of Wooster (OH)
Franklin & Marshall (PA) <--Not sure on this one yet either
McDaniel College (MD)

[Nate]

For this coming fall semester? Get cracking, girl.

[Nate]

Here is my undergrad essay for reference, Jen:

I, like most people, used to think that the world was full of mostly good people. Little did I know that this could not be further from the truth. I have now come to realize that people are not inherently good, but inherently evil. Before I continue, let me say that this essay deals primarily with spiritual and philosophical issues. I realize that this may be upsetting, confusing, or even offensive to some people, but I hope that your mind would be open to consider an opinion that is vastly different from the one most people hold.

It can easily be seen that there is a sort of moral code of conduct that almost all people are sensitive to. In other words, we know what we ought to do. However, it is just as apparent that nobody completely lives up to this code of conduct. Since this code is practically the same for every individual, it can be assumed that there is a firm standard of right and wrong. For example: Nobody would argue against the statement that killing a man in cold blood is wrong, or that giving a million dollars to help feed the homeless is right. At the same time, almost nobody would dispute that telling a lie to your parents is wrong. Although we know it is wrong, almost every one of us has lied to our parents before. In a world where people are usually considered to be inherently good, this failure to live up to the standard presents a major problem. Why, if we know what we ought to do, do we not always do it? Why, if we are inherently good, do we not always do what is right?

I submit to you that we are not inherently good, but rather, we are inherently evil. The apostle Paul, arguably the greatest Christian apostle ever, affirms this in Romans chapter 7. Paul writes that he is “sold as a slave to sin” (v. 14) and that “nothing good lives in him.” (v. 18) He then goes on to say that he knows the good he ought to do, even wants to do that good, but he cannot carry out that desire because evil is always with him. The presence of evil in our lives is something most people do not like to consider. Most of us would like to think that we are pretty good and that we are far from being evil. However, the first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have one. We cannot solve the problem of evil until we realize that it exists, and admit that it exists in us.

Unfortunately, we live in a culture where evil is all too often ignored. Crimes such as the recent terrorist attacks on America are unthinkable to us. Our view of the world is so clouded by our false assumption of humanity’s inherent goodness that we cannot imagine how somebody could be so evil as to kill thousands of innocent people. Even our view of our own lives is affected by this assumption. We label ourselves as good people, but we quickly forget the many times we have all fallen short of that label. We are quick to pass judgment on others, but then turn around and do the exact thing we have just condemned them for doing. For example: According to a recent Gallup poll, 89% of adults surveyed said that a married person having an affair is morally wrong. Yet, according to various surveys put out by About.com, 75% said they have had at least one relationship with a married or involved person, and only 31% said that you should confess a one-night stand to your spouse.

Evil is all around us, it is part of our very being. We cannot escape it, but we can prevent it from controlling us. To draw this all together, I now turn once again to the apostle Paul. In his first letter to Timothy, he encourages him to flee from all forms of evil and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, and gentleness. I have found this to be one of the best solutions ever given for the problem of evil. Evil will not go away by itself, it is up to us to turn away from it and strive to do good instead. Repentance, or turning away from evil, is the only solution for this great problem that has beset us all.

[Nate]

Did you ever arrive at anything, Jen?

[jengoesup]

No, not yet. My dad is forcing me to do an essay on why I like reading *sigh* I guess it's just the college essay. Hopefully, I'll get some people to give me good critiques on it. Either that, or the college counselor we're going to go see can convince him I don't need to write it on this topic.