The Simple Complexities of Life

luvinjesus · 03-26-2003, 12:03 PM

Well Hi There, Ho There, Hey There!! My name is Gwen, and I am proud to say, I am STRANGE!!!! I love being strange, it's fun to watch other people wish they were just like me. I can run, dance and sing in the middle of streets, restaurants, and stores, and get nasty looks, not because people think I'm annoying or obnoxious, but because they wish they could be as free and wild as me. I enjoy laughing, and I do so about every three minutes, in fact I'm laughing so hard right now I'm about peeing on myself. Laughter is fun, and other people laugh even when they don't get a joke, or why they're laughing. I've started laughing wars... which are fun to see how long a person can laugh without passing or out, or breaking into crying. I like music, and all that that implies (*if you know what I mean), and I especially like sound effects cd's and records, especially people or babies laughing. I hate crying and think it stinks, unless it's followed by uncontrollable laughter after which, you pee your pants, or tears come to your eyes, your laughing so much. I don't like jokes though however, unless they're not corny. I like corny jokes... here's one... Why was the sand wet? Cuz the sea weed!! HAHAHAHA!!! I love myself, I'm so funny. Don't you want to be my neighbor?? I don't really care for practical jokes, unless they happen to me, then they're funny. My favorite however, from which I get the most joy is Top Ten Lists, now I'm not talking about top ten lists from David Letterman, frankly HE STINKS!! I don't find him funny, but I find Conan O'Brian HILARIOUS!! I like lists that state the top 10 ways to make your neighbor move. Here's one example... Uproot your neighbors plant's from their garden at night, and the next morning tell your neighbor, "It looks like their on the move again!" That I find funny. Most people think, my gosh that sounds psycho!! But when I think of that, I think My gosh, that's something I would actually do. I'm psycho strange. I'm spastic, strange, off-the-wall, sarcastic, and generally people LOVE ME. People tell me, the only reason I like you is because you're so strange. NORMALCY IS THE ENEMY!!! DEATH TO BEING NORMAL!! I like strange and bizzare people. People who are eccentric are the people I would like to see run for president. Boring, and dull people are my biggest pet peeve. I like strange things, strange animals, strange food, strange movies. That's just a little about me!!!

+kt+ · 03-26-2003, 09:38 PM

WOAH GWEN!! welcome to the world of blogging!

Glad you started one.. thats FUNNY your entree thing there. its great!

Keep it up!!! yep yep! : )

luvinjesus · 03-27-2003, 01:50 PM

Here I am again today, sitting at my computer, and writing about my life. I was just thinking the other day about something... when 12 and 13 year olds say that they're "going out" where exactly do they go? I mean is considered going to church, a date? I never did that when I was in junior high, and I was just curious, how can you be going out, if the only place you go is church or school? Anyways... more about my life.... I am 21, I have blonde hair this week, I have green eyes, I'm from the planet gwenzer.... So on and so forth.... Hmm.. well an interesting fact about me would be I was voted most hyperactive of my senior class. The only bad thing was they were 11 people in my graduating class. I went to this little private christian school, so they weren't used to my sense of humor or style, so even if I wasn't completely psycho, it was still WAY TOO DIFFERENT FOR THEM, so I was spastic. I enjoy greenbeans, doritos smothered with ketchup, and pickles. My favorite food is shrimp, and the two foods I refuse to eat are...... Beef Stew, and applesauce. Don't ask me why, because I'll tell you, and you'll be grossed out. I hate the Beatles, but I love the Beach Boys, I don't like the Newsboys, but I like the Gaithers. I once had a pet pig named Bessie, which my Dad later had slaughtered, and then forced me to eat. My mom is a pastor, my dad is a farmer. I have three sisters... who are all too normal, but I can honestly say, my mom is STRANGE, and I get that from her. I like dogs better than cats, but I like cats better than piranas. I don't eat cabbage, but I like sourkraut. Yeah so, I'm having fun with this, even if no one reads or cares.

DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THEIR AND SPANK YOU!!!

***Art*** · 03-28-2003, 02:26 AM

Wow. You scare me.

luvinjesus · 03-28-2003, 11:07 AM

I sometimes scare myself there art, but it's a good kind of scary:klol: Hmm.. so last night I hit a turkey. I was driving down the road, and this bird that sorta looked like the roadrunner, came running out of nowhere, and I hit it, we'll be having turkey for dinner tonite.

Poor turkey... Anywho... more about me, I JUST LOVE TALKING ABOUT MYSELF. I am 5'6, I weigh so many lbs, I just painted my fingernails and toenails, brite yellow. I don't like licorice. I like strawberries and whipped cream out of the bottle. I like to dance and sing, and make various different noises with my body and self. I'm on the praise and worship team at church, and I play piano and sing for the Lord on the team. I made A's all through high school and got mostly A's and B's in college. I drive a Mercury Sable, I've been in 11 accidents in the past two years, the worst of which I hit a police car:ktongue: It twas funny, indeed. Anyways, if you have any questions about my life, just ask me, I will be sure to give a prompt and honest response as soon as I get off the roof of my house. Right at thsi very moment, I am sitting on the top of my roof, writing on my lab-top, with the phone cord through my bedroom window, it's like 70 degrees here, with a nice breeze blowing.

ENOUGH ABOUT ME, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

luvinjesus · 03-31-2003, 10:32 AM

My youngest sister, just turned 16 and was taking her driver's test this last weekend , and I found this on the internet, and gave it to her as a joke, and she actually did some of the things on here, and she came up to me later that night, and started to yell at me because she failed.
How To Pass Your Driver's Test The First Time

1. Turn the radio on. When the tester goes
to turn it off slap his/her hand.

2. Rev the car really high, turn to the tester,
and say with an evil look, "Buckle up!"

3. Knock over every cone while doing maneuverability.
In the middle of it, get out and check to see if you
have hit every one.

4. Come dressed in a suit. Before the examiner
gets in the car, ask him/her to put a piece of plastic
wrap down so he doesn't dirty the seat.

5. When the examiner tells you to stop, step on
the gas. Tell him/her that you thought it was the brake.

6. When the examiner tells you to stop, pop the
hood clutch and say, "Oops."

7. Get in the car, look down at the pedals, and say,
"Now which one is the gas again?"

8. After the examiner gets in the car, pop the hood,
and get out and check the oil.

9. Fill your car with snapple bottles, and strange colored liquids.

10. The whole time driving, talk about how Aunt
Gertrude smells like mothballs.

11. Tell the registrar that you are taking the remedial
test.

12. In the middle of driving, put your arm around
the examiner.

13. Swerve at everybody on the road.

14. When you stop at a light, start revving the
engine while looking back and forth between the
person next to you and the light.

15. Beep your horn at everything.

16. Break off your rear-view mirror and then
ask the examiner to hold it up.

I know, I know I'm evil, and mean, but it was so funny, especially when she told me that she did number 16. My sister, is so blonde, but it's funny. Anyway, I had to pay for her to take another test, so she got back at me. That's my interesting story for the weekend.

luvinjesus · 04-01-2003, 10:39 AM

MY FISHING STORY-
One millennium I went fishing -- fishing invariably makes me morose. Most people like to fish in streams, but I, in my stamina, like to fish in rivers. Standing whimsically, I baited the hook with a wine glass (and a couple of embarrassing toothbrushes for good measure), leaned back, and politely cast my fishing kite. I waited for a whole century, laughing to relieve the boredom, when finally a gurgle caught my attention. Nastily, I pulled and curdled on my fishing kite, straining until my last ounce of desperation was gone, and reeled in my catch.

I was ecstatic. There, lying before me like a mushy wig on a platypus's kneecap, was a giant leaf. As if that weren't dirty enough, the leaf, to my utmost arrogance, started to plummet.

Cleverly, I dropped my fishing kite and ran back to my adobe, without looking back. I don't know when I've been so jealous

MY SUPER HERO STORY-
Little did the dastardly villain Mushy Kneecap know when he stole my milk carton that he'd picked on the wrong codger. For although my conniving exterior might have you believe I'm an ordinary sort of codger, I am in fact that bravery of justice, the embarrassing crusader for wit, Horseshoe Woman!

Quickly, I charged into a bathroom stall and changed into my indigo smocks, yellow shirts, and my wet orange veil. Thus disguised, I waddled after Mushy Kneecap and condemned him in the earlobe! We fought, and we curdled; we curdled, and we fought. First I had the upper hand, and then he washed me and gained an advantage. But then I grabbed a nearby wig and speared him through the toenail. Victory was mine!

luvinjesus · 04-01-2003, 10:46 AM

I wrote a little poem. I hope you hate it.

Drainpipes, grumpy, spitting on the edges of desperation.
Scaly bravery rolling in the pain of the canyon.
Peninsulas of ecstatic hunger, plateaus of happy wisdom.
I'd bathe with wit, but I've lost all desperation.
Conniving, jealous, I convulse and wallop my fear,
But a century of stamina licks all.

I shave. I plummet. I hiss.
The scaly slugs of arrogance ridicule my dreams.
All is mushy.

------------------THE STORY OF THE CENTURY----------------------------

Once there was a mushy dude who visited a harbor with his grandmothers. He was pinching the land, hoping to make a profit buying up canyon-front property. He had a dirty suit and a milk carton and jotted down notes as his grandmothers advised him about conniving rates and stamina taxes.

When his visit had concluded, he strolled back along the docks to his private oil tanker but flirted when he noticed a sarcastically dressed guy jumping in a refrigerator and caressing the sun. The mushy dude approached the guy in the refrigerator and asked him a question.

"Why are you not crying?" the mushy dude said.

"I'm a wanderer," the guy in the refrigerator said. He took a horseshoe out of his mouth. "I caught and condemned enough hippopotami for today."

"How can you have caught enough hippopotami?" the mushy dude said, embarrassing, "If you caught more hippopotami and earned more money, you could hire people to do it for you!"

"But what would I convulse then?"

"Why, you'd earn enough money to buy a whole fleet of waffles."

"But what would I do then?" the wanderer repeated.

"Why, then you could be jumping in a refrigerator and caressing the sun!"

"But I'm jumping and caressing the sun now," the wanderer said, spitting on his horseshoe.

The mushy dude paused, smiled, and curdled.

"You don't understand," said the mushy dude. "I mean you could be jumping and caressing the sun with silky women, one on each eyelash and feeding you pork fried rice and raspberries. You could buy this whole canyon and bathe on a helicopter at a moment's notice, fly to other cold canyon paradises, and buy them, too. You could have anything you wanted at the snap of your ankles. That's what you'd do then."

The wanderer took the horseshoe from his nostril and let his toenail slacken from the vision. "You're right!" the wanderer said. "Excuse me, sir! I have work to grope!" With that, he melted out of his refrigerator and scurried away.
----------------THE COOLEST STORY ON CGR-------------------------------

Spudly_Spice · 04-01-2003, 06:56 PM

LJ (GWENNY), you are the coolest smartest, prettiest person I know, and I think you should write more often, and everything, and I hope you're night goes good. Loves To You, and all that stuff...

Peaces.... SPUDLY SPICE!!!

luvinjesus · 04-01-2003, 06:58 PM

Peaces back SS (ANNA)... don't take up too much road on your way to Walmart gal. THat would be no good, and that state trooper may still be stalking you. Give Dreana a peice of my mind.

TOODLES, AND GOOD NIGHT!!!

luvinjesus · 04-02-2003, 11:08 AM

Well... here I am again today.... Today we are going to talk about one of my favorite subjects... Spudly Spices favorite subject as well... POTATOES!!! These are dictionary definitions, and the bugs that attack them, we have a petition to kill of all potatoe bugs, potatoe beetles, and any other bug or disease that tries to contaminate or kill them off...

small' pota'toes

Informal.
a person or thing of little significance, importance, or value: His salary was small potatoes for an executive of his ability.

Search Results: potato
potato (Encyclopedia)
potato or white potato, common name for a perennial plant ( Solanum tuberosum ) [more...]

sweet potato (Encyclopedia)
sweet potato, trailing perennial plant ( Ipomoea batatas ) of the family [more...]

Vegetables: Fun Facts (Almanac)
A single baked potato contains less than 250 calories and is over 99% fat [more...]

potato beetle (Encyclopedia)
potato beetle, name for two beetles of the leaf beetle family and for two of [more...]

Irish potato (Dictionary)
I'rish pota'to potato (def. 1).

white potato (Dictionary)
white' pota"to potato (def. 1).

potato race (Dictionary)
pota'to race" a novelty race in which each contestant must move a number of [more...]

potato apple (Dictionary)
pota'to ap"ple the green berry of the potato.

shoestring potatoes (Dictionary)
shoe'string pota"toes long, sticklike slices of raw potato that are deep-fried [more...]

shoestring potatoes (Dictionary)
shoe'string pota"toes long, sticklike slices of raw potato that are deep-fried [more...]

potato chip (Dictionary)
pota'to chip" a thin slice of potato fried until crisp and usually salted. Also [more...]

small potatoes (Dictionary)
small' pota'toes Informal. a person or thing of little significance, importance, [more...]

potato tuberworm (Dictionary)
pota'to tu'ber•worm Pronunciation: (t OO 'b u r-wûrm", ty OO '-), [key] the [more...]

potato moth (Dictionary)
pota'to moth" a gelechiid moth, Phthorimaea operculella, the larvae of which [more...]

hot potato (Dictionary)
hot' pota'to 1. Informal. a situation or issue that is difficult, unpleasant, or [more...]

wild potato (Dictionary)
wild' pota'to 1. a plant, Solanum jamesii, of the southwestern U.S., related to [more...]

duchess potatoes (Dictionary)
duch'ess pota'toes mashed potatoes mixed with cream, eggs, butter, and [more...]

potato leafhopper (Dictionary)
pota'to leaf'hopper 1. any of various leafhoppers that are serious pests, [more...]

potato bean (Dictionary)
pota'to bean" groundnut (def. 1).

Colorado potato beetle (Dictionary)
Colorad'o pota'to bee"tle a black and yellow leaf beetle, Leptinotarsa [more...]

wild sweet potato (Dictionary)
wild' sweet' pota"to man-of-the-earth.

couch potato (Dictionary)
couch' pota"to Informal. a person whose leisure time is spent watching [more...]

air potato (Dictionary)
air' pota"to a vine, Dioscorea bulbifera, of southeastern Asia, having tubers [more...]

Potato Eaters, The* (Dictionary)
Pota'to Eat"ers, The a painting (1885) by Vincent Van Gogh.

O'Brien potatoes (Dictionary)
O'Bri'en pota'toes Pronunciation: ( O -br I ' u n), [key] Cookery. home fries [more...]

potato vine (Dictionary)
pota'to vine" 1. a tender, woody Brazilian vine, Solanum jasminoides, of the [more...]

potato psyllid (Dictionary)
pota'to psyl"lid a tiny homopterous insect, Paratrioza cockerelli, occurring in [more...]

meat and potatoes (Dictionary)
meat' and pota'toes Informal. the essential or basic part: Community service is [more...]

sweet potato (Dictionary)
sweet' pota"to 1. a plant, Ipomoea batatas, of the morning glory family, grown [more...]

Potato (Dictionary) po*tat*to Pronunciation : (p u -t A 't O, -tu) [key] -n., -pl. -toes. 1. [more]

Our favorite toys at children were Mr. and Mrs. Potatoe Heads, instead of collecting barbies SS and me collected Mr and Mrs Potatoe Heads. We had parties, concerts, we had neighborhoods for them.... Man I wish I were 17 again... That was so fun back then....

But Potatoes are the coolest thing that have ever lived on this planet besides peoples, and animals.

Potatoes are my best friend (besides Jesus and SS)
I will eat them till the end
I will never stop loving them
Potatoes are my best friend (besides Jesus and SS)

luvinjesus · 04-04-2003, 09:39 AM

Hello again today, my furry friends.... what's the meaning of life? Does anyone know? Well, I think it's to live for Christ, and to die for christ, and to eat all the potatoes you possible can in a lifetime. I am an avid basketball player, I love playing for the fun of it, I'm not very good, but it's SO much fun, the other thing I like doing, is POTATO DIVING........What a cool and fun way to burn off stress, and steam. Right now, if you're reading this, I bet you're probably sitting there, thinking, O MY!!! How can CGR let such a personas LJ(GWENNY) have such a bizzare blog... well, I can honestly say I have no idea, but it sure is FUN FUN FUN!!! So..... if you're reading this and thinking that, you can reply and say what you want about me or my blog. I am always open to talk to other humans as well (even the voices in my head)

Anywho..... to not keep this from dragging on and on and on and on and on..... I'm going to say Bye, Mr. Tibbles, and have a great Christmas!!!!
See you next Hannakuh!!

luvinjesus · 04-05-2003, 11:23 AM

Hey there, all a good Saturday to you all.... Hope your weekends going as good and crazy as mine is.... We got about 5 inches of rain yesterday, and it stormed like crazy all night. So, I didn't get much sleep last night, which makes me all the more crazy...

Yeah...so I had a pretty good day yesterday, but it was sort of boring... but it was good... Anyways, I'm going to get off and listen to the arrogan worms some more. Later!!

LJ

luvinjesus · 04-09-2003, 01:17 PM

Well, it's offical as of two hours ago, I am officially living a crappy life. Man life seems to being down the drain, and I don't know how to stop it... it's bizzare, and crazy, and I feel like I'm spam at a hamburger convetion, I just don't fit in. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Well it felt good to get that off my chest, now back to the silliness!!!!!

luvinjesus · 04-14-2003, 01:55 PM

Hello there, people who read my journal. Today is another fine day in the life of me, Gwendolyn. I am a an abnormal girl, living in the body of a normal person. That's hard. There are so many things I wish I could do, but this earthly peice of crap, keeps holding me back. I wish I could fly like a bird, run like a cheetah, sing like an angel, dance like a ballerina, and skank like the insyderz... yeah that would be cool, but alas, I cannot. I am stuck not being able to dance, fly, run, skank, or sing. I can play piano, cook, and make myself look like an idiot when dancing. Ahhh.... but I always look like an idiot. I don't mind however, unless a guy I really like sees me then all of a sudden, I get really nervous, and stop. I can't let guys I'm interested in see the real me, they think I'm some lame and stuck up girl, when really I'm not lame, and I'm the least stuck up person you'll ever meet. I talk to everybody and everything, yet when I get around them I don't talk to anyone, except my closest friends. I'm so confused, and yet I'm so not at the same time. Oh well, life as it always seems to do, goes on!