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08-19-2006, 10:15 PM
| #1 |
| Registered User  Joined: Nov 2005 Location: on the edge of land out West Posts: 58
| Biscuits Wanted For Attempted Murder KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid. *That last part was unecessary*
__________________ Count your change before leaving the window! Last edited by Gwenny; 09-14-2006 at 11:24 PM. Reason: Flame Baiting |
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08-20-2006, 09:20 PM
| #2 |
| Red Sox Rocker  Joined: Nov 2005 Location: Steubenville, Ohio Posts: 2,046
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__________________ "Every lament is a love song..." ~Switchfoot, Yesterday "Lift is an existence." ~A good friend of mine "Hail! Hail! Hail! Hail! Hail..." ~Coheed and Cambria, The End Complete V: On the Brink Tale of the Nine: my Songwriting project! "Tails flies away, but the Link hookshots him, beats him with the magic hammer, boomerangs him in the head, bombs him, freezes him and then lights him on fire, creates blocks to through at him, shoots him with arrows, and then whacks him with the master sword. That's one heck of a bat belt that Link has there. Link advances." (From the Video Game Showdown) |
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08-20-2006, 09:37 PM
| #3 |
| Be happy  Joined: Apr 2001 Location: Louisiana Posts: 19,912
| Two things: 1. I do not believe that is an actual AP headline. This thing has been circulating the web forever. 2. The addition on the end about blondes and democrats was needlessly insulting. If you're going to make a joke about a demographic, at least make it ABOUT them. Don't just tag on the information for an extra insult.
__________________ Some things are meant together, some things are better apart Some things are easy, when other times they are hard But that doesn’t mean what’s hard isn’t what’s meant to be - Al Lewis |
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08-20-2006, 10:14 PM
| #4 |
| Your car crash eyes...  Joined: Aug 2004 Location: Detroit... Posts: 10,579
| Haha? That has nothing to do with being blonde or democrat. And I guess you could say that I'm a democrat, so I also find that insulting.
__________________ Nobody (not even the rain) has such small hands. |
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08-22-2006, 09:21 PM
| #5 | |
| Son of A Dog-Killer.  Joined: May 2006 Location: Charlotte, North Carolina Posts: 909
| Yeah...well....I could imagine my sister doing something like that.
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08-27-2006, 01:06 AM
| #6 |
| Post Prehistoric  Joined: Aug 2004 Location: Between Black and White Posts: 3,583
 | yeah I heard this one before too. It was a myth buster once as well.
__________________  Ramblings: God's Will, Free-Will, and Evil “Life is a river. Rivers are always changing. We are always supposed to be changing, evolving, and growing, always supposed to be getting deeper in our relationship with God. There’s always more to go, always more to grow, always more to learn.” |
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08-27-2006, 01:46 AM
| #7 |
| Banned  Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 7,132
| I'm not blonde, and I'm a Conservative.  |
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09-14-2006, 10:29 PM
| #8 |
| Registered User  Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 974
| I find it funny lol
__________________ Fender American Deluxe Ash Telecaster Fender American Standard Strat Ibanez Prestige 1570 Fender Showmaster Martin Hd-28 Thd Bivalve Orange Tiny Terror Boss DD-20 Fulltone Fulldrive 2 Mosfet Fulltone Clyde Wah Xotic RC Boost Mad Professor Sweet Honey Overdrive Empress Tremolo Ernie Ball Volume Pedal Tech 21 Liverpool |
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09-14-2006, 10:36 PM
| #9 |
| distance is not doable  Joined: Oct 2001 Location: Jacksonville, Fl Posts: 3,002
 | this joke could've gotten a "heh" out of me, but the end was unneccessary and tasteless.
__________________ I play music! |
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09-15-2006, 06:02 PM
| #10 |
| WELL FOR WILLING PARTY  Joined: Apr 2006 Location: Winston-Salem, NC Posts: 2,290
| I thought the joke was funny. The "objectionable material" at the end has been eddited out, so I don't know what it said, but it ruined the joke for me anyway.
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