[burningtr33]

James 1:2-3
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

I've been feeling kind of down these days. Getting ready for school, preparing for sunday worship services, preparing retreats, preparing for bible studies, and just other things in life that bothers me all have just brought me down and out most of the days. And on top of that there is this ache in my heart. Every human being that is (or was) alive knows this ache: the ache that comes from the uncertainty of the future, the grim circumstances of our lives, and other factors in our lives that seem to bring pain and sorrow instead of joy and fulfillment.
But during these times when our heart aches because of an unanswered prayer, uncertain future, or whatever it is that causes our hearts to ache what is our first priority? Relief! When we feel that feeling our natural instinct is to seek relief. And yes we all must pray for relief but it shouldn't be the first thing we seek in our lives. If all we seek in our lives is the feeling of satisfaction, joy, peace, and relief from pain etc etc we are not truly treasuring Christ and we will not have true passion for Christ. If we treasure the "good and happy" feelings we are simply idolators. If we only seek Christ for the experience of our own soul than when the trials and tribulations and the aches in our heart comes we will not last the night. I knew couple people that treasured Jesus because they just wanted the blessings of life and when the trials and heartaches came they just left their faith and went on leading immoral lives.
During these past couple months I've been struggling with this. I was seeking relief from the aches of my heart more than God himself. I realized this early on and I've been praying to God for relief of course but more importantly to desire him more than the relief that I wanted. I prayed to God so that I may want him more than I want my prayers answered, my needs and desires met, and my ache relieved.