[thelton]

I was engaged for 9 months. We had problems because we both have emotional baggage. so we broke up. we both agreed to start our relationship over. so we are together now. but..I am struggling with this concept. and its causing more fights. How do you go back to an earlier point in your relationship? is it possible? I just want my ring back and to start our life together but he wants to take it slow so we dont fall back into the mess we were in. got any advice?

[Nate]

You can't rewind time. You can't even slow it down.

It's impossible to start your relationship over anew.

Whatever was there in the past will still be there.

It's possible, though, to change the relationship.

Ask your guy what he thinks needs to change.

It's likely that things can still work out okay.

Things may just happen at different times.

[thelton]

I have emailed him. he works so much right now we have problems communicating. i just cant slow down though its impossible for me and im afraid i will lose him over it and i dont want that.

[exo]

Originally Posted by thelton

I was engaged for 9 months. We had problems because we both have emotional baggage. so we broke up. we both agreed to start our relationship over. so we are together now. but..I am struggling with this concept. and its causing more fights. How do you go back to an earlier point in your relationship? is it possible?

No, it is not possible. What was the point of your time apart if not to move to a different phase of your lives emotionally and maturity wise? Why would you *want* to go back? The reason you guys broke up is to move *forward*.

I just want my ring back and to start our life together but he wants to take it slow so we dont fall back into the mess we were in. got any advice?

Sounds like a wise man to me. It sounds to me like you are on some sort of artificial time-table that you have set up. If you don't have the ability to just lay off and develop your relationship, then it sounds to me like you all got back together too soon (or should have gotten back together at all, IMHO).

[exo]

Originally Posted by thelton

I have emailed him. he works so much right now we have problems communicating. i just cant slow down though its impossible for me and im afraid i will lose him over it and i dont want that.

I don't believe for a second that it's impossible for you to slow down. Sounds to me like you have unreasonable expectations here. And, yes, you will lose him and rightly so, IMHO.

[Samwise]

Originally Posted by thelton

I was engaged for 9 months. We had problems because we both have emotional baggage. so we broke up. we both agreed to start our relationship over. so we are together now. but..I am struggling with this concept. and its causing more fights. How do you go back to an earlier point in your relationship? is it possible? I just want my ring back and to start our life together but he wants to take it slow so we dont fall back into the mess we were in. got any advice?

when you find out, tell me...cause I think I struggle with that everyday..wishing I could go back and start over...and not say certain things, but say others...so yeah...I know how you feel

[crazychu]

marriage counseling?