[Vershal]

Last month, my son passed the one year mark, which I think is more of a testimony to God's grace than my parenting skills. He has, however, lately begun to really fight going to sleep at night, using all sorts of devious tricks, from the classic whining to stay awake to slapping himself on the face to holding his arms up in the air to pinching and even biting himself (some of which were tricks that I used to stay awake in church as a youngster).

Is there anything that we can do to combat this kind of thing?

[nate95366]

I have a few questions for you:

1) How mobile is he?

2) How much talking is he doing?

Those would make a difference in the specifics of my response.

The general response:

If you don't have one already, you need to work toward establishing something of a dependable schedule for your son's life. Wake up at about the same time every day, and then do things in the same order, every day (eat, play, bath, nap, whatever...just do them in the same order and at about the same time every day).

When the battle hits, I'm assuming he's in the crib still. As long as his diaper is clean and he's well-fed, he can do what he needs to do in the crib - screaming, crying, slapping himself, biting himself, whatever. Just don't act like it surprises you. If he needs to be calmed down, head in there every now and then just to let him know you're still there. If you talk, talk like you're calm - "Buddy, it's time to sleep." Lay him down, squeeze his hand, say I love you, leave, close the door. Repeat as needed. The slapping and biting should get really old (to him) if they're not driving you crazy. If it is driving you crazy, it becomes a fun game.

If the "play it down" thing doesn't work and he's an otherwise normal, healthy boy, you may want to mention it to your family doctor or pediatrician, but past that, you'll probably have different issues in a month or two.

Nate

[Vershal]

Originally Posted by nate95366

1) How mobile is he?

Extremely. He's been walking since January, can go up and down the stairs and has lately begun crawling on top of the table when we're not looking.

2) How much talking is he doing?

About what is normal for his age (13 months).

Those would make a difference in the specifics of my response.

If you don't have one already, you need to work toward establishing something of a dependable schedule for your son's life. Wake up at about the same time every day, and then do things in the same order, every day (eat, play, bath, nap, whatever...just do them in the same order and at about the same time every day).

We have a pretty good routine set up. He wakes up at 7:00 to go to work with his mother (she works at a day care.) He naps at about 11:30, comes home at about 4:30 and plays until he gets hungry at about 6:00. And goes to bed anywhere from 8:30-10:00, depending on how much he fights.

When the battle hits, I'm assuming he's in the crib still. As long as his diaper is clean and he's well-fed, he can do what he needs to do in the crib - screaming, crying, slapping himself, biting himself, whatever.

Here's the real problem--because of his mobile ability, he tries to climb out of the crib, and every couple of nights one of us has to go in there because he's gotten his arm or leg stuck in the bars.

The slapping and biting should get really old (to him) if they're not driving you crazy. If it is driving you crazy, it becomes a fun game.

No, no. Those kinds of things aren't targeted at us at all. He does them to keep himself awake, not to get us riled up. He just hates sleeping when he knows that we're awake. In psychology, they speak of the "extremely attached child;" he's a really good example of such.

On nights when we have the energy, we try to beat him to the punch by tickling him until he's too worn out to do anything but go to sleep.

[3e3c3e]

I would agree with Nate's suggestions. My wife and I have 17 month old twins - we where having sleeping problem with them as well.

We found letting them cry for a few days ended the problem pretty quickly. It also worked on getting them to sleep through the night. Another thing we found that worked was a strict bed time routine. At 6pm every night we have bath, get ready for bed and then read stories and pray. We always leave their room by 7:15. Sometime they say up for 15 to 30 mins talking or playing in their crib - sometimes they are a sleep before we leave the room. But they have learned to put themselves to sleep.

We also found that the earlier they went to bed the longer & better their naps would be during the day. This seemed to directly effect how there day would be then. It was an amazing this to see how much happier and pleasant they where after we started all this - plus it made things better for Mom and Dad :-)


~3e3c3e

[elijah77jc]

Nyquil is a hell of a drug...

[nate95366]

Originally Posted by elijah77jc

Nyquil is a hell of a drug...

Maybe a mod can delete this post? It's quite misguided. Nyquil is not approved for use in young children at all.

Originally Posted by Vershal

Here's the real problem--because of his mobile ability, he tries to climb out of the crib, and every couple of nights one of us has to go in there because he's gotten his arm or leg stuck in the bars.

Do you talk to him when you go in? I've found that keeping quiet while I get my daughter "unstuck" makes it a lot easier for her to get to sleep.

Originally Posted by Vershal

No, no. Those kinds of things aren't targeted at us at all. He does them to keep himself awake, not to get us riled up. He just hates sleeping when he knows that we're awake. In psychology, they speak of the "extremely attached child;" he's a really good example of such.

Every style of parenting has its good and bad fruits. Sounds like you might just be experiencing one of the less fun aspects of "attachment" parenting. My style is more "behaviorist" parenting, which has its own benefits and risks, but in your case, it would probably involve me going in to help him out when he's stuck, but not communicating with him in any other way when it's sleep-time. And then a very happy (initiated by me) wake-up time in the morning. The downside is that you have to put up with silly behavior (slapping, biting) for a time while the child's patterns change.

Nate

[elijah77jc]

Originally Posted by nate95366

Maybe a mod can delete this post? It's quite misguided. Nyquil is not approved for use in young children at all.

i'm sorry nate, i was just joking

[Vershal]

Originally Posted by nate95366

Maybe a mod can delete this post? It's quite misguided. Nyquil is not approved for use in young children at all.

It's not something that I would even consider. I don't even use the stuff.

Do you talk to him when you go in? I've found that keeping quiet while I get my daughter "unstuck" makes it a lot easier for her to get to sleep.

It kind of depends on the types of screaming that he's doing. As a parent, I'm sure you're aware of the difference between the pain cry and the whine cry.

Every style of parenting has its good and bad fruits. Sounds like you might just be experiencing one of the less fun aspects of "attachment" parenting. My style is more "behaviorist" parenting, which has its own benefits and risks, but in your case, it would probably involve me going in to help him out when he's stuck, but not communicating with him in any other way when it's sleep-time. And then a very happy (initiated by me) wake-up time in the morning. The downside is that you have to put up with silly behavior (slapping, biting) for a time while the child's patterns change.

From what you've talked about in the posts I've read in this forum, I have a pretty even blend of the two parenting schools.

At any rate, the behavior seems to have been in decline since I've posted this, actually. It amazes me how babies change so quickly.