Children

HotPinkSuitGirl · 02-10-2006, 09:26 PM

Yes. I know they are not pets but after going EVERY PLACE on this fourm this is the only suitable place for a post as such as this.

Help me. These kids (the ones I nanny for) can be like animals. I have nannied for years but these are devils.. sorta. I do not want to raise my voice or threaten them. I dont want to get angry or feel out of control though it may be totally natural to do so. But they will cuss and laugh about it. They will go in the street and not listen to me and simply have no respect for me. I find that saying we will have no fun or sitting around staring at them till they do what I ask works but I feel so hopeless. There has to be more for these kids! There has to be some way to teach them respect for authority. I think they are catholic (hispanic kids) but they have a book of mormon sitting around along with some christian literature. I'm just so frustrated that these kids only respect authority that is angry. That hurts me because I refuse to be angry and hate myself if I even feel that way.

Suggestions for time fillers and teaching respect and obedience? Please?

Rock for God · 02-10-2006, 09:48 PM

Unfortunatly it's thier parents job to teach them respect for authority. You might ask the parents if they will allow spankings. I got plenty of those when I was younger, and I'm very thankful now. I look at so many kids nowadays that just walk all over their parents and the parents just take it. Grrrrrrr it makes me angry. It sounds like a form of strong discipline is neccesary for them.

**Role Modlin** · 02-14-2006, 11:15 AM

Judging from the tone of your post, I would suggest that you not care for these children. They are obviously frustrating you greatly and you admit that they don't listen to you. I would explain to the parent/s that you don't feel it's wise for you to continue.

exo · 02-14-2006, 12:33 PM

I find that saying we will have no fun or sitting around staring at them till they do what I ask works but I feel so hopeless.

What you said right there I think is the key. Discipline is difficult to be consistent with especially when the parents are not doing their share. But remember that kids want discipline... they want boundaries... believe it or not, it gives them a sense of security. You won't know it while you're applying it, but 5 or 10 years from now it will have results.

Now, while it is mainly the parents' job to teach respect, each person who takes care of the children can teach a measure of respect. For instance, I have a very strong willed daughter who behaves completely different with my mom as opposed to my wife's mom. With my wife's mom, she walks all over her, and generally doesn't respect her (don't worry I discipline her about this after the fact). With my own mom, she gives her respect, because my mom doesn't let her play (mind) games with her and applies consistent discipline. Oh, and btw, no one but my wife and I are allowed to deal out spankings. So, my mom does it with priveledges and time-outs.

It just looks like in your situation that the parents haven't made your job easy. I do agree with Lee that if the situtation is really that bad that you should go ahead and leave the job. While you can attain some measure of respect for yourself... because the main source of learned behavior comes from the parents, it may be a lost cause for you to try and instill real values and discipline into the children (I don't know how much time you spend with them).

bobthecockroach · 03-15-2006, 10:53 AM

Have you talked to the parents?

PS - Bold text is harder to read in large chunks.

Insane Drummer · 03-15-2006, 12:06 PM

Talk to the parents, if they expect you to teach their children respect. Stop nannying (is that a word) for them immediately. One, it is not your place to teach them respect. Two, don't tolerate disrespect, I am sure there is some system of discipline the parents have laid out for you to use, use it to the fullest extent possable.

My advice would be just stop caring for these children. There is a problem here one you, not being their parent and at your age, are not qualified or required to correct.

smitty2622 · 03-15-2006, 09:00 PM

They may not be pets, but a little training as if they were pets doesn’t hurt. Teaching obedience to some children can be a lot like teaching obedience to an animal.

Peace