[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by Mara's Mom

AMEN to both you and Bill. Ohmystars, I can't even start talking about this subject because it would turn into a major rant.

Everytime I start this rant I listen to twilight by tourniquet and get a bit too choked up to rant.

My mentor was 92 when I met him, and I would give my car for 3 more hrs with him.

[FilltheEarth]

I think online relationships can have a certain type of mentoring effect in your life, to a point. It's just important to realize what that point is, and not substitute what you are getting online for the real life relationships, like others have said here.

That said, I think you will find your mentors on here in an informal way, rather than in actually "signing up" to be officially mentored by someone. In fact, I would say the same thing about real life mentoring - that the best way to learn from someone is in the context of naturally occuring dynamics, rather than going up to someone and saying, "Mentor me." The relationships I have seen where it was clearly understood that one person was the mentor and the other the recipient, tended to have some unhealthy twists to them - I think its better when we just develop relationships naturally out of our concern and love and enjoyment of one another, and in that context, we will all learn a lot from each other - the immature from the wiser and mature, and even the wise and mature from the amazing things that even immature and inexperienced people are graced with on their way towards maturity.

heather

[ICTHUS]

Originally Posted by Mara's Mom

I am fairly new to the world of internet relationships and while I can admit that I have developed a genuine love for someone here, I am also having to face the obvious limitations. On the one hand, there seems to be very open communication, but you reach a point where it is obvious that the various constraints of the internet are going to have a profound effect on the relationship. It's easy to hide on the internet. The computer can be shut off while you go about your business. If you don't like what someone says, you can just leave and there's nothing the other person can do about it. I rely heavily on tone and body language and countenance. I don't have any of that so I find myself continually questioning. Even to the point of wondering if I've made a mistake by allowing my heart to get that involved. The internet is a very vulnerable place when you're trying to be genuine.

Now, I could be taking this much deeper than anyone intended. I hear the word "mentor" and I think of very, very close relationships. The original poster could mean something entirely different.

I would like to add my own limited experience to what Mrs. D has said. This seems kind of almost weird to say, but I met the man whom, at present, I consider my closest male friend here on CGR. He is, in many respects, a mentor to me (though there are many respects in which he cannot be such, just for the fact that he lives on the other side of the continent), though not formally so. We are just really dear friends and brothers. But the simple fact of the matter is that he does not live in Vancouver. I cannot go out for a beer and a heart-to-heart with him when I need it, and that really frustrates me.

In short, while I think the original posters heart is in the right place, and while I think there is an amazing Christian community here on CGR which is very supportive and very cool, it is no substitute for the local Church, which is the Saints called out of the world which is dominated by Satan and into the colony of Heaven on this earth which awaits the coming of the Kingdom.