[sallyjr]

Became really good friends with this catholic girl. We talk about what we want for our future, family wise and there is a lot in common. I've been entertaining the idea of dating her. The only thing stopping me is I don't want to start something I can't finish. I wouldn't date someone unless I know I can have a future with them.

We talk about our faith. I can share that aspect of my life with her easily and she does the same. I think there is enough common ground for me to know I will see her in heaven. But there are differences too that I can't ignore and I'd want to respect her wishes and family.

At this point now, I'm not in too deep that I can get out, cause she has no clue at the moment. I'm just wondering if this is something to persue. Are the difference big enough for me to be concerned about?

[bread man]

What are the differences?

[bobthecockroach]

I second bread man's question. Not all Catholics believe the same way. Ask her about her faith, and use what she tells you to decide if the differences are too great.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by sallyjr

Became really good friends with this catholic girl. We talk about what we want for our future, family wise and there is a lot in common. I've been entertaining the idea of dating her. The only thing stopping me is I don't want to start something I can't finish. I wouldn't date someone unless I know I can have a future with them.

We talk about our faith. I can share that aspect of my life with her easily and she does the same. I think there is enough common ground for me to know I will see her in heaven. But there are differences too that I can't ignore and I'd want to respect her wishes and family.

At this point now, I'm not in too deep that I can get out, cause she has no clue at the moment. I'm just wondering if this is something to persue. Are the difference big enough for me to be concerned about?

Whoah with a name like sally Jr. Im afraid I mistook your gender. What are the differences.

[sallyjr]

Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq

What are the differences.

I'll be the first to admit I don't know much about catholics. There there are a lot of things I don't understand. The apocrypha, faith alone vs faith and works, scripture alone vs scripture and church tradition, the pope, sacrements, saints.

Neither one of us are theologians, so we probably couldn't tell you where we divert in terms of beliefs. I was hoping to find that out on the forum. Aside from theological reasons, there's also traditions. Her family traditions are seeped into the catholic traditions. Baptising when you are a baby, celebrating the first communion, things like these she tells me about and I can see she wants to do that to her children. I'd like to respect that.

I guess I just want to make sure I'm not setting myself up for failure. Educating myself so I can make a better decision before get in too deep and throw level headed thinking out the window.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by sallyjr

I'll be the first to admit I don't know much about catholics. There there are a lot of things I don't understand. The apocrypha, faith alone vs faith and works, scripture alone vs scripture and church tradition, the pope, sacrements, saints.

Neither one of us are theologians, so we probably couldn't tell you where we divert in terms of beliefs. I was hoping to find that out on the forum. Aside from theological reasons, there's also traditions. Her family traditions are seeped into the catholic traditions. Baptising when you are a baby, celebrating the first communion, things like these she tells me about and I can see she wants to do that to her children. I'd like to respect that.

I guess I just want to make sure I'm not setting myself up for failure. Educating myself so I can make a better decision before get in too deep and throw level headed thinking out the window.

Well, I would reccomend reading and talking to her about what she believes and why.

[SccHarpGirl]

It's a bit of a red flag to me that neither one of you can articulate what you believe, and why...

I'm a Catholic girl (actually writing this right as i'm running out the door to mass), and I"m dating a non-Catholic guy. it CAN work but you both have to do some research into firstly, what you believe, where your traditions come from, why you believe it, etc, and then have some discussion about it. your choices ultimately are to agree to disagree, in which case you have to decide, in the case of kids, how they will be raised (will you take them to both your services and mass? When will they be baptized and how? etc etc), you can convert to Catholicism, or she can convert to your denomination.

Note that one should NEVER convert for the sake of a relationship. A conversion should come from a change of heart and an informed decision. But I'd recommend having discussion with her about it before asking her out. It doesn't have to be on the level of Von Balthasar or anything, but some discussion as to your respective beliefs. There is variety in the Catholic faith, and most Catholics believe differently than stereotypes held about them. This is just from my experience

You will be in my prayers
Noelle

[ICTHUS]

Originally Posted by sallyjr

Became really good friends with this catholic girl. We talk about what we want for our future, family wise and there is a lot in common. I've been entertaining the idea of dating her. The only thing stopping me is I don't want to start something I can't finish. I wouldn't date someone unless I know I can have a future with them.

First of all, just out of curiosity, what denomination are you?

We talk about our faith. I can share that aspect of my life with her easily and she does the same. I think there is enough common ground for me to know I will see her in heaven. But there are differences too that I can't ignore and I'd want to respect her wishes and family.

Is there? On what basis do you say that?

At this point now, I'm not in too deep that I can get out, cause she has no clue at the moment. I'm just wondering if this is something to persue. Are the difference big enough for me to be concerned about?

Yes, you should absolutely be concerned about them, and steer clear of this girl as anything more than a friend. Hear me well - the Roman Catholic church is dreadfully in error, such that it has abandoned the Gospel of the Lord and has become no more a church of Christ, but a synagogue of Satan. It preaches, not merely a slight perversion of the Christian gospel, but another gospel entirely.

I would love to talk to you more about this. PM me if you want to talk more.

[ICTHUS]

Neither one of us are theologians, so we probably couldn't tell you where we divert in terms of beliefs. I was hoping to find that out on the forum. Aside from theological reasons, there's also traditions. Her family traditions are seeped into the catholic traditions. Baptising when you are a baby, celebrating the first communion, things like these she tells me about and I can see she wants to do that to her children. I'd like to respect that.

There is nothing wrong with infant baptism (I know some people are going to disagree with me, but for the record, you are interacting with a Reformed paedobaptist). There is nothing wrong with 'celebrating the first communion' (you have to start recieving the Lord's Supper sometime!). There are greivous errors, however, in Rome's understanding of those sacraments. Again, I would love to discuss this in private with you.

I guess I just want to make sure I'm not setting myself up for failure. Educating myself so I can make a better decision before get in too deep and throw level headed thinking out the window.

I would recommend anything by Greg Bahnsen on the subject - he has some excellent lectures available from Covenant Media Foundation on why Protestants should shun Roman Catholicism, and why Roman Catholicism is not a Christian church.

[OctaviusIII]

erm.... I'm going to ignore that last post, other than this comment regarding my ignoring it.

But anyway, my recommendation is study. The Catholic church is based on reason, and your denomination probably is as well, so it's possible to understand the various intricacies of both.

As for infant baptism itself, the Covenant Church (Protestant) has been one that I know of that practices it as well as believer/adult baptism. (Its reasoning.)

But anyway, best of luck to you, and I hope that theological differences won't be an insurmountable barrier.

[BelovedOne]

It is wise of you to not want to start something "you can't finish" or in other words, date someone you wouldn't marry.

My biggest concern would be childraising. I know several married couples where one grew up Catholic and the other converted simply for marriage... then kids came along and they couldn't agree on what religion the kids should be so they stopped going to church altogether.

I also have had several good friends who have dated Catholics and ended up breaking up (even after engagement... we're talking serious serious relationships here) because they couldn't come to terms with their religious differences.

With that said, I'm with someone who has a very different religious background than my own. We had a lot of concerns at first but as we study the Bible together and pray about everything, God has really brought us to the same page. We learned that we were both wrong about some things, and it's been a great blessing to share such an intimate relationship with someone who has a different point of view than mine. It can be a great blessing and challenge. The key is to talk- all the time- and study a LOT. It's so important in marriage to at least share the same fundamental beliefs and be able to go together to a church where you are both happy and being fed spiritually and able to serve spiritually.

A question for someone more knowledgeable than myself... do you have to convert to marry a Catholic?

[ICTHUS]

Originally Posted by OctaviusIII

erm.... I'm going to ignore that last post, other than this comment regarding my ignoring it.

Why would you ignore me? My position is that of traditional Protestantism - notably, Cranmer's 1552 litany in the Book of Common Prayer and the Presbyterian Westminster Confession of Faith, as well as the Smalcald Articles of Martin Luther. If you want to have a love-in with Roman Catholicism, you'd better stop calling yourself a Protestant right now. This is what our Protestant forefathers have believed about Rome.

Originally Posted by The Smalcald Articles of Martin Luther

Hence it follows that all things which the Pope, from a power so false, mischievous, blasphemous, and arrogant, has done and undertaken. have been and still are purely diabolical affairs and transactions (with the exception of such things as pertain to the secular government, where God often permits much good to be effected for a people, even through a tyrant and [faithless] scoundrel) for the ruin of the entire holy [catholic or] Christian Church (so far as it is in his power) and for the destruction of the first and chief article concerning the redemption made through Jesus Christ.

For all his bulls and books are extant, in which he roars like a lion (as the angel in Rev. 12 depicts him, [crying out] that no Christian can be saved unless he obeys him and is subject to him in all things that he wishes, that he says, and that he does. All of which amounts to nothing less than saying: Although you believe in Christ, and have in Him [alone] everything that is necessary to salvation, yet it is nothing and all in vain unless you regard [have and worship] me as your god, and be subject and obedient to me. And yet it is manifest that the holy Church has been without the Pope for at least more than five hundred years, and that even to the present day the churches of the Greeks and of many other languages neither have been nor are yet under the Pope. Besides, as often remarked, it is a human figment which is not commanded, and is unnecessary and useless; for the holy Christian [or catholic] Church can exist very well without such a head, and it would certainly have remained better [purer, and its career would have been more prosperous] if such a head had not been raised up by the devil. And the Papacy is also of no use in the Church, because it exercises no Christian office; and therefore it is necessary for the Church to continue and to exist without the Pope.

......

This teaching shows forcefully that the Pope is the very Antichrist, who has exalted himself above, and opposed himself against Christ because he will not permit Christians to be saved without his power, which, nevertheless, is nothing, and is neither ordained nor commanded by God. This is, properly speaking to exalt himself above all that is called God as Paul says, 2 Thess. 2, 4. Even the Turks or the Tartars, great enemies of Christians as they are, do not do this, but they allow whoever wishes to believe in Christ, and take bodily tribute and obedience from Christians.

The Pope, however, prohibits this faith, saying that to be saved a person must obey him. This we are unwilling to do, even though on this account we must die in God s name. This all proceeds from the fact that the Pope has wished to be called the supreme head of the Christian Church by divine right. Accordingly he had to make himself equal and superior to Christ, and had to cause himself to be proclaimed the head and then the lord of the Church, and finally of the whole world, and simply God on earth, until he has dared to issue commands even to the angels in heaven.

Originally Posted by The Westminster Confession of Faith

VI. There is no other head of the Church but the Lord Jesus Christ.[13] Nor can the Pope of Rome, in any sense, be head thereof; but is that Antichrist, that man of sin, and son of perdition, that exalts himself, in the Church, against Christ and all that is called God.[14]

[Simo]

I would also warn sallyjr to stear clear of this girl as anything more than a friend. The Catholic Church is in gross error on some of their foundational beliefs. Do not get yourself into a relationship where you will to get to a stage where you have to sacrifice your own beliefs in order to continue it.

Be her friend.

[bobthecockroach]

The point is still that all Catholics do not believe the same way. Unless you ask her what she believes, you will never know. It doesn't matter how much you research the Catholic church; you won't really know what she believes. Solution? Ask her! She doesn't have to be a theologian to tell you what she believes.

[sallyjr]

Originally Posted by ICTHUS

First of all, just out of curiosity, what denomination are you?

Christian Missionary Alliance

Is there? On what basis do you say that?

On the basis of our conversations. After her attending some of our worship services at my invitation the doors for dialogue were opened. Again we didn't dive into doctrine or theology but much more our experiences, struggles and such. I was actually surprised by her devotion cause I thought she was a nominal catholic. I think that sparked my intial attraction.

...the Roman Catholic church is dreadfully in error, such that it has abandoned the Gospel of the Lord and has become no more a church of Christ, but a synagogue of Satan. It preaches, not merely a slight perversion of the Christian gospel, but another gospel entirely.
more.

How can you be so sure that your denomination has an exculsive on the truth? I've listen to some catholic apologetics and they make a good case. Not enough to convince me to convert but it isn't as easy to pick apart as I first assumed. I think it was Ravi Zacherias that said "if you can easily make any major religion look foolish, you obviously don't understand it well enough"

Is she saved? Will I see her in heaven? Is she a follower of Christ? I do not doubt it. I don't see why God would save Protestants and not Catholics. I don't want this to turn into an Protestant vs Catholic thread.

Originally Posted by BelovedOne

My biggest concern would be childraising.

You've crystalized why I've been trying to get at. I've stated before that if there is no possiblity of marrying her, I don't even want to consider it. I do not want to live a life of compromise (then why get married? hahahah) but I think you know what I mean. Family is important for me. I've already decided boy or girl I'll have them play hockey. She too probably has certain expectations of how she is going to raise her kids. I'm still trying to figure out what they are and if there are any areas of conflict that could come up. I think getting to know her more will reveal this.

Thanks for those who have been posting their exeriences or their friends experiences. They were very helpful. I'll try to keep you updated.