HELP

Neill10 · 01-18-2006, 12:42 PM

Is it ok for my boyfriend to tell me that he wants me to be his friend after 7 years , because he can't commit himself to any relationship right now but God.He said that He wnats me to be apart of his life and I Have been the most posotive part of his life. This is what he said that his pastor and God told me. I am confused because i have been the only one support him through his Transformation and i really don't understand Please help.

bobthecockroach · 01-18-2006, 01:16 PM

Ok, a few things here...

Relationships can always come to end. It's never a good thing, but sometimes it's just what has to happen.

Devotion to God is a good thing.

What do you mean by his "Transformation?"

Neill10 · 01-18-2006, 01:28 PM

This is what he told me that he is going through Transformation. I was and am very happ that he has changed his life to God. That's why I was giving him support. He has change alot but still the ? why did his pator tell him that if he tells me what he is going through and that we need to be just friend and maybe that will let me take a look at myself. He said that I have been a blessing to him.

bobthecockroach · 01-18-2006, 01:32 PM

I'd ask him what he means by Transformation, but anyway... it sounds to me like he wants to take a break from relationships to spend more time with God. I'm not sure what there really is to say to that. It's his decision to make. It doesn't mean you don't mean anything to him or that you haven't been a blessing to him; it just means that he wants to focus on God... at least that's the impression I'm getting.

Gains238 · 01-18-2006, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neill10

Is it ok for my boyfriend to tell me that he wants me to be his friend after 7 years , because he can't commit himself to any relationship right now but God.He said that He wnats me to be apart of his life and I Have been the most posotive part of his life. This is what he said that his pastor and God told me. I am confused because i have been the only one support him through his Transformation and i really don't understand Please help.

Well, if he is being serious about the reason for the breakup then that is great. Everyone needs to draw closer to God. If that is the case, then God will provide a way for both you and him to get through this. You just have to rely on him. I mean, if he still wants you in his life then that is probably for the best. At least he is still caring for you.

I was dumped after three years because my ex told me that "God wanted her to be single" and then weeks later she is chasing someone else. That was REALLY hard. So, if God can make a way for me then I know that He will make a way for you.

Neill10 · 01-18-2006, 01:43 PM

Sorry for your break-up..... But he told me he knows that he wants to be with me and if God wants us to be togother we will like be for. We have been through ups and downs and through it all I stood by him and him by me so this is really a shock to me I don't understand why he just could say lets just take a step back rather that hurting me. i have waited for the day for him to grow closer to God and now I am pushed away. he still hangs out with his friends who drink and smoke??????? Still they remain the same in his life.

bobthecockroach · 01-18-2006, 01:45 PM

Jesus hung out with whores. Not only that, drinking and smoking can be done legally and good arguments can be made that both are Biblically acceptable. I wouldn't use that to judge him unless he's involved in one or the other illegally (underage, DUI, something like that).

Neill10 · 01-18-2006, 01:47 PM

The Transformation is what the chruch that he attends calls it. Restoriation Church. His Pastor is giving him all of this information. I have talked to my pastor and he told me that he is not sure why he told him what he told me because God doesn;t turn away people he brings them closer to you to help and support you and this is what I hav been doing supporting him the whole way through given him time and space when and wher he need it. make sure things don't stress him out.......

bobthecockroach · 01-18-2006, 01:49 PM

I'm sort of confused. At first, it sounded like you were saying he was simply asking for some time off from the relationship. How is he turning you away?

Neill10 · 01-18-2006, 01:50 PM

Yes because he was a Big drinker and now he stopped and they still do and while hanging out with them he drunk , He said that he didn't want to do it anymore

bobthecockroach · 01-18-2006, 01:51 PM

In that case, there's a problem. I'd ask him to seek counselling from either a Christian counsellor or Alcoholics Anonymous.

Neill10 · 01-18-2006, 01:53 PM

We have been together for 7 years and he cam to me and told me that he wants md to be his friend and give him some space because he is find it harder to commit his self to any relationship other than God right now. All the other relationhips are the same ( Friends, co-workers, family etc.) i have been the closet person to him he is not even close with his family.......

bobthecockroach · 01-18-2006, 01:55 PM

Ok, but then you said something about turning people away. If he's just asking for some space, I don't really see a big problem, but if he's doing something else, there may be a problem.

Neill10 · 01-18-2006, 02:03 PM

I guess i feel like he is turning me away My thing is if I am the and imort part of this life then why must I get push back to his friend instead of his girlfriend if he cares for me I have and like he has said am importnat to him and he want me to be a part of his life. I say this because Everytime he goes through any thing I am always the one who get push away ( in his past for for females, dealing wiht ither issues in his life etc.)and Regardsless if it hurt me I forgave him saw my was through the neagtive and supported him and now when he is doing some so poistive in his life I have to be just his friend. He said in the past that he wanted us to get to the point where he goes to church and he stop drinking and for us to move on.

Neill10 · 01-18-2006, 02:04 PM

He sent me this email ............

MOMENTS IN LIFE
>
> There are moments in life when you miss someone
> so much that you just want to pick them from
> your dreams and hug them for real!
>
>
> When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
> but often times we look so long at the
> closed door that we don't see the one,
> which has been opened for us.
>
>
> Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
> Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
> Go for someone who makes you smile,
> because it takes only a smile to
> make a dark day seem bright.
> Find the one that makes your heart smile.
>
>
> Dream what you want to dream;
> go where you want to go;
> be what you want to be,
> because you have only one life
> and one chance to do all the things
> you want to do.
>
>
> May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
> enough trials to make you strong,
> enough sorrow to keep you human and
> enough hope to make you happy.
>
>
> The happiest of people don't necessarily
> have the best of everything;
> they just make the most of
> everything that comes along their way.
>
>
> The brightest future will always
> be based on a forgotten past;
> you can't go forward in life until
> you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
>
>
> When you were born, you were crying
> and everyone around you was smiling.
> Live your life so at the end,
> you're the one who is smiling and everyone
> around you is crying.
>
>
> Please send this message to those people
> who mean something to you (I JUST DID);
> to those who have touched your life in one way or another;
> to those who make you smile when you really need it;
> to those who make you see the
> brighter side of things when you are really down;
> to those whose friendship you appreciate;
> to those who are so meaningful in your life.
>
>