[+SEAL+]

Wow, somehow, the whole first line of the song got left out. I just noticed that.

Feedback, anyone?

[+SEAL+]

A bit of a departure from the other songs in Tale of the Nine, imagine it as Coheed-style progressive rock.

Tale of the Nine Discussion
~~~
This place
Is where your uncle left to live his life in peace
And embrace
A life he'd never known while bondage held him deep
Come trace
The histories that mark these walls of painted legend
Your face
Has always turned to those who sought the heavens

Welcome to the House of those who saw the Elder Days of Arda
All those who roam may linger here and not go any farther
Those who wander alone need not make the journey longer
Imladris will see you home

Minstrels
Will sing of them in days that have not come
Unfold
The myths of what their kind have done
Behold
The watchers of the ancient ones
The road
Has passed them as it marches on

Welcome to the House of those who saw the Elder Days of Arda
All those who roam may linger here and not go any farther
Those who wander alone need not make the journey longer
Imladris will see you home

Don't fear, little halfling

Welcome to the House of those who saw the Elder Days of Arda
All those who roam may linger here and not go any farther
Those who wander alone need not make the journey longer
Imladris will see you home

This place
Is where your uncle left to live his life in peace
And embrace
A life he'd never known while bondage held him deep

Don't fear, little halfling

[Small]

Originally Posted by +SEAL+

This place
Is where your uncle left to live his life in peace
And embrace
A life he'd never known while bondage held him deep
Come trace
The histories that mark these walls of painted legend
Your face
Has always turned to those who sought the heavens

I'm a sucker for nonstandard rhyme-schemes, so bravo! In general, I like it, but the first two lines, "This place/is where your uncle left to live his life in peace" seems entirely too ambiguous. Shouldn't it be "came"? I take slight issue with "deep" as well, as it feels a little bit stilted, and does nothing to convince me that it's a necessary part of the line, so it feels like it's only there for the assonance with "peace".

Welcome to the House of those who saw the Elder Days of Arda
All those who roam may linger here and not go any farther
Those who wander alone need not make the journey longer
Imladris will see you home

Again, props with the rhyme-scheme, and well-done overall. I like this part, except that the first line keeps making me want to read the second line in a New York accent.

Minstrels
Will sing of them in days that have not come
Unfold
The myths of what their kind have done
Behold
The watchers of the ancient ones
The road
Has passed them as it marches on

The short, pre-line lines are not nearly as strong here as they were in the first verse, other than that, though, it's another nice, strong verse.

This place
Is where your uncle left to live his life in peace
And embrace
A life he'd never known while bondage held him deep

Don't fear, little halfling

Excellent ending, although the "deep" thing still stands. I do have a question about the italicized lines--does that denote a different sort of singing, or...?

Solid stuff. It needs a little bit of polish, perhaps, but it's one of my favorites from the Tale of the Nine, so far.

[+SEAL+]

Yes, the italics would be a softer, higher singing.

I'll think about "deep", it is there for assonance. And yes, I could see the problem with Arda slant-rhyming with farther, lol. I actually envisioned it as a British accent saying it, because that works, I suppose. I'll mull that over. And yeah, "left" makes a lot less sense than "came" does, thanks for the suggestion.

Thanks for the review!

[guitarfan01]

I really like this. And this idea.

EDIT: Darn, I didn't realize it was this old.

[+SEAL+]

Haha, no problem...have a look at the other songs, too. I'm still writing them.

[+SEAL+]

Yep, it's another one of these songs. But I really, really like this one. It came after I heard someone use the image of a sunset as a representation of God coming to men (Heaven touches earth). Think of it as an indie/modern rock/alternative song.
~~~
The sunset
Is where Heaven meets the earth we tread upon
And I bet
That the sun will rise and set after I'm gone
You regret
The tears and steps along which you have come
You watch the setting sun

Rest your eyes on the horizon now
As your life begins to question how
The intersection of your joy and pain
So scared, so scared of your lifelong vows
So scared, so scared of your lifelong vows

And your tears
Meld slowly with your skin and my embrace
Don't fear
I can see the terror hiding in your face
Please hear
The words that from your mind have been erased
Come and watch the setting sun

Rest your eyes on the horizon now
As your life begins to question how
The intersection of your joy and pain
So scared, so scared of your lifelong vows
So scared, so scared of your lifelong vows

[interlude/solo]

Run away
Into the sunset

Fly away
And leave all your fears

You display
The signs of your despair

Fly away, fly away

Rest your eyes on the horizon now
As your life begins to question how
The intersection of your joy and pain
So scared, so scared of your lifelong vows
So scared, so scared of your lifelong vows

Your eyes
Are the windows to a stormy sea within
And disguise
The beating heart that doesn't know where to begin
Sunrise
Seems a treasure you can never hope to win
But you can watch the sunset

Where Heaven meets the earth

[+SEAL+]

Okay, so this one's kinda a ballad, but very much with an indie acoustic feel to it. A slow, very simple melody. I'll try and post an mp3 of it when I can.

~~~

There once was a kid who made music
And he wanted to go be a star
So he said "I'll teach old dogs some new tricks,
With my hundred-dollar guitar,
My hundred-dollar guitar."

So he goes on a journey
And that kid's got big dreams
So he'll strum his guitar to win the hearts
Of the faces he's never seen
And rainbows are the promises
That he made so very long ago, ago

This kid, he went down to the city,
And he's hitch-hiking onto a star.
The stars shine, like streetlights so pretty,
On his hundred-dollar guitar,
His hundred-dollar guitar.

So he goes on a journey
And that kid's got big dreams
So he'll strum his guitar to win the hearts
Of the faces he's never seen
And rainbows are the promises
That he made so very long ago, ago

The audience hears the kid playing
As he's singing at the bar.
He knows they're all drunk, but he's trying
With that hundred-dollar guitar,
That hundred-dollar guitar.

And the kid, he's asleep in the city
In a rat-hole apartment that's charred.
In his mind, he sees loved faces sitting
With his hundred-dollar guitar,
His hundred-dollar guitar

So he went on a journey
And that kid had big dreams
So he strummed his guitar to win the hearts
Of the faces he'd never seen
And rainbows are the promises
That he made so very long ago, ago

From the nightmares the kid awakes, screaming
And he knows that his home is so far
And he sees nothing's come of his dreaming
Or his hundred-dollar guitar,
His hundred-dollar guitar

[instrumental slowdown]

So he says now that there's no place like home
And his home is what lives in his heart
But he'll still continue to wander and roam
With his hundred-dollar guitar,
His hundred-dollar guitar.

So he goes on a journey
And that kid's got big dreams
So he'll strum his guitar to win the hearts
Of the faces he's never seen
And rainbows are the promises
That he kept so long ago