[Ryan Akers]

Man...the things I have to look forward to whenever I get married.

[H.M. Murdock]

Originally Posted by Ryan Akers

Man...the things I have to look forward to whenever I get married.

Singing Amazing Grace naked with your wife and still fighting sinful desires. I'm excited about this too. Let's make t-shirts!

I think this thread is very interesting. I also think that avoiding lust is amazingly hard. Emo_Racheal hit the nail on the head when she brought up doing something else. Distraction until it passes is a good thing.
But I see a lot of justifications. "If it's for affection." If this, if that. I wonder how many people here could kiss their girlfriend or boyfriend and do it without lusting in any way or feeling any sort of sexual arousal? Be honest with yourselves.
God never said pursuing him would be easy or comfortable. I see a lot of people trying to be moral in a difficult situation while still maintaining comfort, which is, I must say, pretty much impossible.
If it makes you lust, don't do it. It's simple as that. There is no muddying that needs to be done, and no semantic arguments about the terminology, or the bible uses this word or that. The hard parts about it are: 1) identifying lust and 2) getting away from it.
It can be something as simple as holding hands, giving or recieving a neckrub, or a hug. And don't say some crappy excuse like, "Oh, well, I can do this this and that without lusting." Odds are you are lying to yourself and you know it.
The key is honesty. Harsh, brutal honesty. Does it hurt? Yes. Especially when you have already crossed the line. It's easy to say, "Well, maybe I could just not go quite as far next time." But the human mind is a machine of association. A peck on the lips is associated with the time you went farther, and so on.

[Praisey]

not all kisses or hugs or touch can elicit lust... i don't know about my hubby but not all his kisses or touches make me wanna pounce him... what i mean is... it's not really in the actions we do... lust starts in the mind.

[HolyRockJfreak]

Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock

Singing Amazing Grace naked with your wife and still fighting sinful desires. I'm excited about this too. Let's make t-shirts!

I think this thread is very interesting. I also think that avoiding lust is amazingly hard. Emo_Racheal hit the nail on the head when she brought up doing something else. Distraction until it passes is a good thing.
But I see a lot of justifications. "If it's for affection." If this, if that. I wonder how many people here could kiss their girlfriend or boyfriend and do it without lusting in any way or feeling any sort of sexual arousal? Be honest with yourselves.
God never said pursuing him would be easy or comfortable. I see a lot of people trying to be moral in a difficult situation while still maintaining comfort, which is, I must say, pretty much impossible.
If it makes you lust, don't do it. It's simple as that. There is no muddying that needs to be done, and no semantic arguments about the terminology, or the bible uses this word or that. The hard parts about it are: 1) identifying lust and 2) getting away from it.
It can be something as simple as holding hands, giving or recieving a neckrub, or a hug. And don't say some crappy excuse like, "Oh, well, I can do this this and that without lusting." Odds are you are lying to yourself and you know it.
The key is honesty. Harsh, brutal honesty. Does it hurt? Yes. Especially when you have already crossed the line. It's easy to say, "Well, maybe I could just not go quite as far next time." But the human mind is a machine of association. A peck on the lips is associated with the time you went farther, and so on.

Yeah I agree...Emo Rachel did nail it..sometimes the best way to get rid of lust is to focus on something else and not focus on trying to not lust.....I found one of the best ways to go against lust is to focus on love...

I agree with Murdock..if it makes us lust then we should try to stay away from it.

[H.M. Murdock]

Originally Posted by Praisey

not all kisses or hugs or touch can elicit lust... i don't know about my hubby but not all his kisses or touches make me wanna pounce him... what i mean is... it's not really in the actions we do... lust starts in the mind.

Of course. But let's remember- you're married. [/idiotic remark]
Actually, no, I know that. But outside of marriage, is it not best to err on the side of caution?

[Chris]

Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock

Of course. But let's remember- you're married. [/idiotic remark]
Actually, no, I know that. But outside of marriage, is it not best to err on the side of caution?

Looking back I definitely would say so. (^_^)

[Praisey]

yes i agree with you... most definitely.

btw, i didn't post that to contradict what you said... i post that because i see a lot of young couples now who are just so... uhm.. what's the word? wary of even touching each other. (like they both have the ebola virus or something)

what i'm trying to say is... to be so legalistic in how you approach relationships (i.e. no touching, no kissing, no hugging) will make you lose some of the joy of having a relationship... and not everything you have read in the dating books (like I Kissed Dating Goodbye) will apply to you and your bf/gf.

[H.M. Murdock]

Originally Posted by Praisey

what i'm trying to say is... to be so legalistic in how you approach relationships (i.e. no touching, no kissing, no hugging) will make you lose some of the joy of having a relationship... and not everything you have read in the dating books (like I Kissed Dating Goodbye) will apply to you and your bf/gf.

Oh, definitely. I would say that it's okay to try it out. Kiss her once, sure. But once you learn your boundaries, they should be stuck to, even if it seems weird.
I have no problem with holding hands, or even holding my girl. It does nothing other than keep me warm in a more pleasant way than a blanket would. But I do have boundaries that I intend to keep. That is what I was saying.
Not touching just because you're "not supposed to" is so hysterical. I laugh a lot at the concept. Ho ho.

[Praisey]

exactly.. once you know where your limit is.. stick with staying far away from the limit... don't even go near it hehe