[xxSparkOfLifexx]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to put the thread. Mods feel free to move this.

Our church is a small church. Most of us are in charge of multiple ministries. I started learning guitar around 2 years ago (at a very old age to start learning guitar I might say) and I'm the kind of person who always take any ministry being offered to me without thinking whether I have the capacity or not. I always think that God will help me through it and so I took the offer to serve the worship ministry around a year ago. Our worship band consists of 1 keyboardist, 1 bassist, 1 guitarist and 1 drummer. We have no 'spare part' at all so basically we have to play every week. At first, everyone was bad at it, well except the keyboardist because she's been playing for 3 years. To make it short, after few months playing together, everybody's getting better at his/her own instrument except me. I'm the one who makes the most mistakes, the most out of rhythm and have little variation in my guitar playing style. I've tried my best to catch up with their improvement, but always in fail. It stresses me out everytime everybody is like telling me to use another style while giving me like 2 minutes example on how to do it and expect me to pick that up and bam! play it the next day. Also when I thought I was using the right style in a particular song, often during rehearsal, the keyboardist kinda put her hands on the guitar strings, stopping whatever I was trying to play. Then I knew that I was suppose to do guitar picking instead of strumming, while I thought strumming was better! I just don't know anymore what style I should or should not play and every time I make a mistake, everybody's looking at me which leads to me... making more mistakes. You know it's like when you're trying to explain something to someone and realize that you choose the wrong words and then you try to correct it by using another words but it turns out to be worse, then you try correct it again and it's getting worse and worse until you stop talking at all. That's pretty much I do almost everytime I make mistake. Everybody's looking, I get nervous and then I mess up a little bit more.... and more... and more... until I decide to stop playing at all.

I don't have self-confidence anymore in what I'm doing. Adding to my almost zero self-confidence... I can't play without reading the chords and as you know during worship, anything can happen, the worship leader can sing any song he/she has in mind that time and musicians just have to follow it. Well, I CAN'T! (The others can). It really crushes me everytime such thing happens and I start to wonder whether I should quit... especially when the bassist can play guitar (and he's eager to play it too), but was not permitted since I definitely can't play bass as sophisticated as he is and everybody was like saying that bass is more important than guitar. It's just as good as saying that if I don't exist, the worship can still go on (it hurts ). I've been in this situation for almost a year now and I always manage to stay in the team because quitting in the middle of your ministry year is exactly what the devil wants. Year 2006 is coming and basically it's a perfect time for me to quit the worship ministry. Should I keep on doing what I'm doing now? Maybe God has not yet finished forming me in that ministry or ...... maybe He does and telling me that it's not one of the ministries I should be in. Maybe I'm just a quitter, maybe I just happen to be in a group of not-too-easy people to deal with.

And like I said before, even if I don't exist in the team, the worship can go on. I guess.

Sorry it got long.

[4Glory]

hey bud, don't get so down on yourself, I can understand its frusterating, i was there too!

Take some time out of your week to practice alone with the songs, get comfterable and just remember you are worshiping God, try not to focus on what other people think, think about how you are attempting to give glory to our Father in Heaven.
I think you show great respect for what you do because you are even considering quitting, that takes a lot of relfection and deep thought, obviously I think you've probably prayed often about it.
Its a tough call because you want to do whats best for the ministry, but I think it really depends on where your heart is. If you want to sincerly be in the ministry to glorify God then stick with it, you will get there no question, just keep practicing.
If this is just something that you feel is a passing thing (and mabye you've got a lot of other stuff on your plate that you hlep the church with) then stick with it until the end of the year and give yourself a break.
God will provide.
I hope everything goes well for you.
take care.

[DaGeek]

Making mistakes while playing for people bites. Been there, done that, though not as large of a scale (yet). The question that you should be asking yourself is, "Why do I care what people think of me while I'm up here?". Sure, it's not easy to answer (Or maybe it is, I'm not sure, hehe), but you'll have to make an effort to ignore people. You may be up there to lead others to worship God well, but you're also there to worship God for yourself. Learning a new guitar style is tough... I've been playing for almost a year, and I know how that feels. It's a pain. Have you talked to your team about this? Have you talked to them about considering quitting? Hope you make the right choices!

[LvBgg<3]

Originally Posted by xxSparkOfLifexx

I'm not sure if this is the right place to put the thread. Mods feel free to move this.

Our church is a small church. Most of us are in charge of multiple ministries. I started learning guitar around 2 years ago (at a very old age to start learning guitar I might say) and I'm the kind of person who always take any ministry being offered to me without thinking whether I have the capacity or not. I always think that God will help me through it and so I took the offer to serve the worship ministry around a year ago. Our worship band consists of 1 keyboardist, 1 bassist, 1 guitarist and 1 drummer. We have no 'spare part' at all so basically we have to play every week. At first, everyone was bad at it, well except the keyboardist because she's been playing for 3 years. To make it short, after few months playing together, everybody's getting better at his/her own instrument except me. I'm the one who makes the most mistakes, the most out of rhythm and have little variation in my guitar playing style. I've tried my best to catch up with their improvement, but always in fail. It stresses me out everytime everybody is like telling me to use another style while giving me like 2 minutes example on how to do it and expect me to pick that up and bam! play it the next day. Also when I thought I was using the right style in a particular song, often during rehearsal, the keyboardist kinda put her hands on the guitar strings, stopping whatever I was trying to play. Then I knew that I was suppose to do guitar picking instead of strumming, while I thought strumming was better! I just don't know anymore what style I should or should not play and every time I make a mistake, everybody's looking at me which leads to me... making more mistakes. You know it's like when you're trying to explain something to someone and realize that you choose the wrong words and then you try to correct it by using another words but it turns out to be worse, then you try correct it again and it's getting worse and worse until you stop talking at all. That's pretty much I do almost everytime I make mistake. Everybody's looking, I get nervous and then I mess up a little bit more.... and more... and more... until I decide to stop playing at all.

I don't have self-confidence anymore in what I'm doing. Adding to my almost zero self-confidence... I can't play without reading the chords and as you know during worship, anything can happen, the worship leader can sing any song he/she has in mind that time and musicians just have to follow it. Well, I CAN'T! (The others can). It really crushes me everytime such thing happens and I start to wonder whether I should quit... especially when the bassist can play guitar (and he's eager to play it too), but was not permitted since I definitely can't play bass as sophisticated as he is and everybody was like saying that bass is more important than guitar. It's just as good as saying that if I don't exist, the worship can still go on (it hurts ). I've been in this situation for almost a year now and I always manage to stay in the team because quitting in the middle of your ministry year is exactly what the devil wants. Year 2006 is coming and basically it's a perfect time for me to quit the worship ministry. Should I keep on doing what I'm doing now? Maybe God has not yet finished forming me in that ministry or ...... maybe He does and telling me that it's not one of the ministries I should be in. Maybe I'm just a quitter, maybe I just happen to be in a group of not-too-easy people to deal with.

And like I said before, even if I don't exist in the team, the worship can go on. I guess.

Sorry it got long.

man I have been playing the guitar for as many months as I can count on one hand I took a few lessons and I ko how to play worried man blues yankee doodle and a few other things JUST the fact that you had the guts to get in front of your church and do it amazes me cause I suck .. quite plainly If I ever got in front of my church for ONE I'd probably be terrified and 2 I can't play so I'd probably just strum to the tune or attempt to. My advice to u would just be take a few books home and In ure spare time practice a couple of songs that you guys might play often or strum a little learn to enjoy the guitar and not just get annoyed cause you " can't " play. I have played yankee doodle. and joy to the world so many times My parents who at first enjoyed it are now like OMG britt enough geeze. lol But I like playing it I enjoy being able to just strum It out but I don't like anyone to listen so I will usually walk off by myself and practice. I think it's awesome that you do that and while your at it try to find someone in ure congregation that played or plays the guitar maybe they can help you out. And tell the lady who is the pianist to lighten up she sounds like she could either use a massuse or a cappachino:P

* me *

[4stringfreak]

im a bassist, and im always wrong. even when im right, someone else had the idea. everyone gets better at their own pace, and any guitar is harder than any other pansy instrument.

[xxSparkOfLifexx]

Aaaah, I've spent too much time writing for replies and it logged me out. Now I have to type everything again

Originally Posted by 4Glory

Take some time out of your week to practice alone with the songs, get comfterable

We got the song when we're in church on saturday and only have like 2 hours to practice the whole thing.

Originally Posted by 4Glory

If this is just something that you feel is a passing thing (and mabye you've got a lot of other stuff on your plate that you hlep the church with) then stick with it until the end of the year and give yourself a break.

I was indeed in charge of multiple ministries (sunday school, overhead projector, documentation) before our pastor decided to pull everything back since I'm in the worship ministry.

Originally Posted by DaGeek

Making mistakes while playing for people bites. Been there, done that, though not as large of a scale (yet). The question that you should be asking yourself is, "Why do I care what people think of me while I'm up here?". Sure, it's not easy to answer (Or maybe it is, I'm not sure, hehe), but you'll have to make an effort to ignore people. You may be up there to lead others to worship God well, but you're also there to worship God for yourself. Learning a new guitar style is tough... I've been playing for almost a year, and I know how that feels. It's a pain. Have you talked to your team about this? Have you talked to them about considering quitting? Hope you make the right choices!

I can't talk to my team about this, since they're the one who actually stresses me out. They're the one who's complaining and telling me to change my style. Music people are not the easiest people to deal with . I know they want the best for our service, maybe it's just the way they bring it to me. Maybe I'm just too sensitive, I don't know.

Originally Posted by LvBgg<3

And tell the lady who is the pianist to lighten up she sounds like she could either use a massuse or a cappachino:P

Hey, you're right about that. She plays keyboard, so she basically just has to push a button to transpose the whole thing to her favorite key (C = do), lol. We're [I'm] not allowed to use capo for some reason.

Originally Posted by 4stringfreak

im a bassist, and im always wrong. even when im right, someone else had the idea. everyone gets better at their own pace, and any guitar is harder than any other pansy instrument

Hmm, yeah probably when they stop worrying about how I perform, I'll get enough peace to be able to play without tense, but I just don't know how to talk to them about it.

---

Maybe I just have to talk to them about it, but I don't know how?? I've been keeping this by myself inside for almost a year. I think I'm really ready to crash. The pastor a.k.a. the worship leader doesn't know about this (nobody knows except you guys + God). Also, if I decided to quit anyway... I don't know how to tell that to my pastor. For what reason? I can't tell him that I quit because I got too much pressure from the team...

What do you guys think about saying that I can't pay the price? No question asked if I say that.

[DaGeek]

You're not allowed to use a capo????


What the...?


Are you sure? That's completely ridiculous! And you probably should explain to the team that they're putting a lot of stress on you, and so on. Don't mention that you want to quit, because they might lighten up when they realize that you're getting crushed. I'd ask for a second opinion here, though. There's some great people on these boards, that know about this kinda situation (I'll bet).

[[SoUlFiRe]]

The body of Christ consists of armgs, legs, mouths, eyes, and many more. Some people simply weren't meant to do what other people do. Bring this up to God, and if He tells you to stop, then just stop.

You can serve in other ministries, don't be discouraged simply because you're not built to serve musically.

[xxSparkOfLifexx]

Um, guys I don't know how to put this, let's say I've lots of things going on, which more less affecting the ministry as well. More in my blog:
http://www.christianguitar.org/forum...9&postcount=22

Thanks for all your replies.

Just.. please pray for me

[xxSparkOfLifexx]

I'm opening this thread again to let you guys know that I'm healed! I don't exactly know how, but one thing for sure is... what the keyboardist says about the way I play, just suddenly doesn't affect me anymore. No more pressure, no more pain inside. Well, she still shows me how she wants it to be and I try my best to follow that specific style, but if I can't do it at that very moment, there's nothing she can do . Time... we don't have it, so she'll have to leave me that way, using my style... or a lack thereof.

Today our pastor tells me that I'll be playing until January 8th. He's aware that I'm going to leave the country soon, so he gives me time to relax, just standing still worshipping without having to worry about any task at all. There're sure lot of things awaiting me there in a completely different country. I'm happy that I get to hear this after I'm healed. I quit the worship ministry because it is simply time to stop. I'm not running away. I have fight until the end and I've won the fight. Thanks for all your prayers.