I feel so bad, all the time.

_Innocent_eyes_ · 12-05-2005, 10:17 PM

I used to be the kind of person who just "went with things." my moto was "go with the flow." till about a year ago. i have two kids. one is 3 and one is..1. my last child, my daughter, was a mistake, a mistake with a person that i didn't love. I was being selfish and cheated on my husband. it ended up wrecking my whole life. ever since the day he walked out the door, (About a year and a half ago) when he found out that the baby wasn't his, i have felt horrible. I love my kids more then anything since they are all that i have now, but everytime i look at my daughter it hurts. my husband was my only true love i ever had, and i made a tiny mistake and wrecked everything. is there anyway i can get over the pain, so i can look at my daughter again without tearing up?.

ShawnTheNoob · 12-06-2005, 09:44 AM

Honestly, just remember when you look at your daughter your looking at your daughter..No matter how she came about she is still yours.You love her,so don't
let it effect you.

As for the mistake you made..You chose your path a year and a half ago.
Choices always have their consequences and no choice goes unnoticed.

Just love her like Jesus.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 12-06-2005, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _Innocent_eyes_

I used to be the kind of person who just "went with things." my moto was "go with the flow." till about a year ago. i have two kids. one is 3 and one is..1. my last child, my daughter, was a mistake, a mistake with a person that i didn't love. I was being selfish and cheated on my husband. it ended up wrecking my whole life. ever since the day he walked out the door, (About a year and a half ago) when he found out that the baby wasn't his, i have felt horrible. I love my kids more then anything since they are all that i have now, but everytime i look at my daughter it hurts. my husband was my only true love i ever had, and i made a tiny mistake and wrecked everything. is there anyway i can get over the pain, so i can look at my daughter again without tearing up?.

First of all, it wasn't a tin mistake and you know it. Thats why it hurts to look at her. The guilt and consequences of your choice flood in and are superimposed on her. Guess why I am familliar with this. I am the child of rape. The son whose face reminded my parents of pain. It is really going to hurt but, though I don't have all the answers I can toss out a few.

1) Do not try to minimize your sin. It won't work, you know it isn't a small thing.
2) Realize it isn't your daughter's fault. It is yours.
3) Realize the grace of God which covered David, an adulterer and murderer is still in effect. You have to ultimately trust in that grace for forgiveness. Realize, it isn't a bad thing to mourn over your adultery. Read Psalm 51, as that was written by David for a situation similar to this. That is the only way I see to begin to heal. to face the facts and to deal with the source of grief and guilt.

Nate · 12-06-2005, 01:30 PM

Your daughter wasn't a "mistake;" your conceiving her was.

Sorry to be Sadduceeically semantical, but words are too important to use carelessly.

**DaGeek** · 12-07-2005, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq

First of all, it wasn't a tin mistake and you know it. Thats why it hurts to look at her. The guilt and consequences of your choice flood in and are superimposed on her. Guess why I am familliar with this. I am the child of rape. The son whose face reminded my parents of pain. It is really going to hurt but, though I don't have all the answers I can toss out a few.

1) Do not try to minimize your sin. It won't work, you know it isn't a small thing.
2) Realize it isn't your daughter's fault. It is yours.
3) Realize the grace of God which covered David, an adulterer and murderer is still in effect. You have to ultimately trust in that grace for forgiveness. Realize, it isn't a bad thing to mourn over your adultery. Read Psalm 51, as that was written by David for a situation similar to this. That is the only way I see to begin to heal. to face the facts and to deal with the source of grief and guilt.

Agreed wholeheartedly. It wasn't a tiny mistake. You know this. You have to accept it.

But that's not the end! It doesn't stop when you accept it. When you get forgiveness, amazing things happen. It's a sad situation, but God's glory can still come from it, and it will! I'm assuming you are a Christian, yes? Remember the verse, "All things work together for the good of those who love Him." You are in His plan. He can help you get through this. Have you been praying about this? Have you confessed your sin to the Lord?

1 John 1:9-10

9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

That verse was SO helpful to me, and it can be for you. You must have the faith that that is true. Everything in the Bible is true. Remember that beliefs are thinking something is true, but faith is acting on it. You must realize that those verses are true.