A Vent: It sucks that we're expected to spend so much money!

Nomes · 11-14-2005, 05:31 PM

[vent]

I've been looking through stuff, planning what we might do, getting ideas and stuff. And it makes me feel so yuck. People spending so much money and prettying things up and blah blah. And even more than that, people expecting us to spend so much money!

I want our wedding to be nice. But I don't want to spend thousands and thousands of dollars - both because we can't afford to, and because I would rather put that money towards setting up our house, rather than make sure we have the biggest flowers, the most decorations, the most extravegant food.

[/Vent over]

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 11-14-2005, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nomes

[vent]

I've been looking through stuff, planning what we might do, getting ideas and stuff. And it makes me feel so yuck. People spending so much money and prettying things up and blah blah. And even more than that, people expecting us to spend so much money!

I want our wedding to be nice. But I don't want to spend thousands and thousands of dollars - both because we can't afford to, and because I would rather put that money towards setting up our house, rather than make sure we have the biggest flowers, the most decorations, the most extravegant food.

[/Vent over]

I remember the feeling...

exo · 11-14-2005, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq

I remember the feeling...

Me too...

Just think, though... If you do it right the first time, she won't bug you about it for the rest of your life.

nix · 11-14-2005, 08:31 PM

I made sure I found great deals (which I did) and only bought what was REALLY needed.

For instance, I bought a wedding dress for $200 when it would have cost me $1500 originally.

exo · 11-15-2005, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nix

I made sure I found great deals (which I did) and only bought what was REALLY needed.

For instance, I bought a wedding dress for $200 when it would have cost me $1500 originally.

^^^ And look how beautiful it is.

nix · 11-15-2005, 02:12 PM

Aww thank you

I AM ME · 11-15-2005, 07:53 PM

even for my wedding i dont want to spend a ton on a dress

Sapphy · 11-16-2005, 11:34 AM

I'm exactly the same too. I can't see the point in alot of the traditions, they seem to be money wasting things perpetuated by the wedding industry.

For example - what is the point in bridesmaids apart from rearranging your dress? You could save money by only having one. Flowers aren't necessary or don't have to be big.

Rob and I are going for a buffet, because it's cheaper than a sit down dinner and better for getting people to mingle. I want the party bit so I can celebrate with my friends, not show off or impress them.

nix · 11-16-2005, 01:15 PM

Yup, buffett worked perfectly for us and saved heaps! We also didn't have bridesmaids or best men. No cake, no band... lots of other things we didn't have either, and it turned out just as great!

Nomes · 11-16-2005, 03:19 PM

Exactly - it's all thought of to make the wedding industry rich! Grrr...

We're having an afternoon tea or high tea, I'm making my dress, not sure about flowers yet, borrowing a friends car for the wedding car - and getting a cheesecake shop to make us a cake (who remembers the cake anyway!)

nix · 11-16-2005, 03:30 PM

Exactly, after a buffet, no one has space for a cake

I guess this all depends how traditional you want to be.

I only used flowers for myself and my make up and hair I got done together so it was cheeper. I bought the kind of shoes that I can wear again. (half price)

**Rach** · 11-16-2005, 03:31 PM

It is your wedding, so have it the way you want! If that means that you don't have a big extravegant wedding party, huge multi-layer cake, full band and flowers coming out of your ears, then that is fine. It is all about what YOU want, because it is YOUR day (you/your = you and your fiance).

I wanted the cake, the sit down dinner and that type of atmosphere, but that doesn't mean that you, or anyone else has to do it that way.

And you can find ways to save money, and still have it be a very nice wedding. You just have to shop around, and gather ideas from various places.

exo · 11-16-2005, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rach

It is your wedding, so have it the way you want! If that means that you don't have a big extravegant wedding party, huge multi-layer cake, full band and flowers coming out of your ears, then that is fine. It is all about what YOU want, because it is YOUR day (you/your = you and your fiance).

I wanted the cake, the sit down dinner and that type of atmosphere, but that doesn't mean that you, or anyone else has to do it that way.

And you can find ways to save money, and still have it be a very nice wedding. You just have to shop around, and gather ideas from various places.

Yeah, my wife wanted a very elegant wedding, which for her meant:

String Quartet
Brass Quintet
Huge, Nice Church
Sit-down meal
Dancing
Lots of Flowers
Big-Beautiful Dress
Big Wedding Party
Etc.

But when she thinks back on it, she says it was perfect and wonderful (and she *did* do a good job of shopping around for deals).

WannaPlay · 11-17-2005, 03:06 PM

I've done both big and small weddings.

My first marriage was a big wedding with lots of people and fairly extravagent. The big wedding can be done on a budget that's not too bad. My ex-wife had her dress made for MUCH less than it could be purchased. We had free use of the chapel at the school from which she'd graduated. Flowers were all dried or silk so they could be saved, and we did the decorating ourselves. At the end of the day, I was happy to be married, but I did not have a good day, and I don't think she did either. I remember little of the day except running home to get her veil which she'd forgotten, nearly passing out from the heat in a 100+ year old chapel on what would be the hottest day of the year (and it was a MORNING WEDDING!), being herded by her mom to talk to people who we didn't know and never heard from after the wedding at the expense of being able to enjoy the food and ourselves with our friends. The biggest regret was that we weren't able to appreciate what seemed to be (and will never be known, as the videographer decided she'd rather not tape the reception) a wonderful toast by her father, who passed away two weeks after the wedding.

My current marriage was a civil ceremony with my parents, my wife's mom and my sister and brother-in-law, with some time together at the house afterwards, and dinner out. It was very low-key and it was good for us to all have some time together. We joke about getting "re-married" and having a bigger ceremony and party with all our friends, but neither of us really want the hassle (my wife used to work as a seamstress and worked with brides and doesn't want to be one of "them"). With our fifth anniversary coming up in January, I may suggest we have one of the pastors bless the marriage, as we were not married in a church. Hmmm....maybe a surprise for her....

A balance can definitly be struck between having what will make for an enjoyable day, as you and your bride imagine and will want, and spending a ton of money.