[guitarmonkey<><]

Just would like to hear your thoughts on this. I personally am for it, and was spanked. However, a girl that I really respect, says it is wrong. I disagree, like I said. Howver, I would like to hear your thoughts.

[Andrew]

Why does she think it's wrong? The burden of proof is on her, Mister Chris.

[guitarmonkey<><]

She is taking a Psychology class, and they brainwashed her. . .

She says that it teaches children to be aggresive and that hitting is ok. And that some statistic shows that women who were spanked as children marry abusive husbands. Nonsense really. I just love her so much, I can't stand to shut her down. So, I changed the subject to the weather.

But, what do you all think of it.

[Andrew]

That it's ridiculous. That is a complete crock. Hah. Just let her be in her delusions if she doesn't want to listen.

[Napoleon17]

Originally Posted by guitarmonkey<><

She is taking a Psychology class, and they brainwashed her. . .

All hope is officially lost... if you can't reason with someone, you're not going to convince them.

I think spanking is great. It shows kids that if you disobey, you'll have consequences.

[exo]

Originally Posted by guitarmonkey<><

She is taking a Psychology class, and they brainwashed her. . .

She says that it teaches children to be aggresive and that hitting is ok. And that some statistic shows that women who were spanked as children marry abusive husbands. Nonsense really. I just love her so much, I can't stand to shut her down. So, I changed the subject to the weather.

But, what do you all think of it.

I call total BS on those statistics. If it read 'that women who were abused as children marry abusive husbands'. That is accurate.

The problem is that many people are completely ignorant as to the difference between a measured, but painful swat to the behind and abuse.

There are really times where there aren't any other options but to spank. Each child *is* different as to how they will react to the spankings and sometimes you'll have children that get spanked once and never get spanked again because they get the message. Other times, you have a strong-willed child who tests you to your wits end. For my daughter we do the following:

Willful defiance: Spanking
Endangerment: Spanking
Bad attitude: Time-out
Tantrum: Time-out

We also take priveledges away if she is not having a good attitude about it. For instance, if she will not share a toy with another child, we'll take the toy away... stuff like that.

During each spanking we tell her why she is getting the spanking. We then swat one to three times (no more than three) depending on the offense. Usually we use a wooden spoon that we have tested on ourselves so that we know what stings and what hurts. We then reaffirm to her that we love her. We try to model the way that God disciplines us as best we can.

Here's some verses on the subject. IMO, the Bible can't be much clearer on the subject:

Psalm 89:32
I will punish their sin with the rod, their iniquity with flogging;

Proverbs 13:24
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Proverbs 10:13
Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment.

Proverbs 22:15
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.

Proverbs 29:15
The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.

Hebrews 12
God Disciplines His Sons
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
4In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."[a]

7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13"Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

[nix]

If it read 'that women who were abused as children marry abusive husbands'. That is accurate

Not accurate for me.

I don't know how I feel about it to be honust. Smacking was in a abusive form for me. Right now I don't think I would have a problem with it, but then I dont have kids yet, so I don't know for sure.

[Simo]

I believe spanking (we call it smaking over here) is important. It is a biblical principle as exo pointed out, and i believe its an important part of parenting.

There are ofcourse extremes, and that is plain wrong and violent, but done sensibly it can be a very good learning tool.

[guitarmonkey<><]

Those were the verses I pointed out to her.
I also said that because 5,000 out of 1,000,000 people are abusive, does not give the right to call spanking abusive. My father never smacked me harder than neccesary, and never an extreme amout of times. And, I never what it was ever again.

[passinthru]

I understand where she's coming from, and I haven't taken psychology.

For those who have been abused via spanking, or have friends who were or have seen the hours of new footage and read the case studies, spanking is seen as horrid.

For all of you who were spanked appropriately or spank your kids appropriately, good for you. I"m happy for you. Try to realise that those 5,000 people who are abusive could have had thousands of more victims. For those people any form of being hit equals abuse. It's the mental connection. Is it right to spank your kids? if you can do it appropriately and not in a state of anger, then it's between you and God. Do you need to discipline and at times punish your children? Most certainly. Yes I know all the Scriptures that were posted with references to 'the rod'. Does the rod have to mean physical spanking? I mean if we want to get literal, go cut a branch from a tree and shape it and use that. Could it just be a cultural use of the word?

Where do I personally stand on it? I won't ever spank my kids. I think that there are much more creative ways to enforce the message that certain behaviours, attitudes, words, etc are not acceptable.

[smitty2622]

There are valid points on both sides of the debate as usual when it comes to children and raising well adjusted kids. With that said we use spanking sometimes but usually try other methods first spanking is a last resort the only kids that still will get spanking sometimes are the younger two 5 and 6 my six year old rarely gets spanked anymore the others who are all over 9 never get spanked they do pushups and sit ups instead or sometimes run laps. We figure that gets our point across and actually helps them physically you know no pain no gain, (or spare the rod.). Now my 5 year old, he’s got to be one of the strongest willed children on the planet sometimes I’m at a loss as to what to do for him he is a very good and loving boy, but when he gets something in his head it’s almost impossible to get him to change were hoping this is mostly an age thing he will eventually out grow, but my mom loves to point out another extremely strong willed child she remembers well, she said time away in his room worked for that child and we should try that more. So I see time in his room alone as becoming very important in the very near feature….



Peace

[BillSPrestonEsq]

My parents, specifically my mother "spanked" my wrist once to where it broke. Her "spankings" drew blood a few times and often left severe bruising.

However, because of that, I can hardly think of using corporal punishment. This is awkward I know, but abuse does not necissarily make one aggressive. I tend actually to ere on the side of passivity.

I don't think I can do it myself.

I call total BS on those statistics. If it read 'that women who were abused as children marry abusive husbands'. That is accurate.

I'd say thats not quite accurate either. Maybe more likely to marry abusive husbands, but abuse does not dictate your destiny that way.

[exo]

Originally Posted by nix

Not accurate for me.

I don't know how I feel about it to be honust. Smacking was in a abusive form for me. Right now I don't think I would have a problem with it, but then I dont have kids yet, so I don't know for sure.

That's great! It's also not accurate for my own wife. Unfortunately, the exceptions to the rule are not the norm.

[exo]

For those of you that were abused or that believe that spanking is not for you because you were abused, I would recommend *learning* how to appropriately discipline your children. Just because you were abused, it doesn't mean that you have to eliminate what is an effective form of discipline. Realize that the pendulum swinging too far in the other direction of passivity can also be harmful to your children.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by exo

For those of you that were abused or that believe that spanking is not for you because you were abused, I would recommend *learning* how to appropriately discipline your children. Just because you were abused, it doesn't mean that you have to eliminate what is an effective form of discipline. Realize that the pendulum swinging too far in the other direction of passivity can also be harmful to your children.

I realize that, but for a host of reasons I do not think I should. I am not worried about my wife using corporal punishment however. I hope that makes sense. Its where we stand.