Derek and the Magic Loogie (RC) duh

**McLuvinjesus** · 09-23-2005, 01:46 PM

Derek and the Magic Loogie
by Ben (me)

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Derek. He had a loogie. It was a magic loogie. He tossed it out the window and went to sleep.
The next morning, he got dressed and started to get ready for school.
He looked out the window and saw something that blew his mind. What he saw was something that he had only dreamed about. It was a loogie-stalk!
Forgetting about school, he jumped out the window, and started climbing as fast as he could, which wasn't very fast, because it was very slippery and gooey.
About halfway up the tree, he saw something buried in the middle of the clear mucus of the loogie-stalk. He reached in and pulled it out. Much to his chagrin, he realized that it was his boxers. "How did those get up here?" He wondered aloud. "Whatever." He shrugged as he climbed upward.
It was slow going, but in about twenty minutes, he finally had reached the top of the loogie-stalk. "Is this heaven?" He wondered. "No, but it's as close as you're going to get, my boy." A loud, booming voice said from across the cloud. "What is this place?" He asked the leprachaun. "The entrance to LoogieLand", he answered. "Come on in, I'll show you around."
Derek paused, unsure of what to do. "Well, I guess I can be late for school today, but I have to leave soon" "Sure, it'll only take a few minutes", the leprachaun answered. "Follow me." Then the leprachaun turned and disappeared through the cloud. Derek ran to catch up with him, and all of a sudden, he ran into a thick wall of mucus.
Splat! "Hee-Hee, they always miss the door." the old leprachaun laughed. "well, let the tour begin," Derek said, wiping the mucus from his eyes. He caught a glimpse of himself in the shiny reflection of the mucus wall. He was covered in mucus! Oh, well, this is LoogieLand, after all, he thought.
"This is where we make the Loogie-Pops", his guide said. "Would you like to try one?" "Uhhhh, no thanks, maybe later". He didn't mind climbing a loogie-stalk, or going to Loogie-Land, but eating a Loogie-Pop. "Disgusting!" He accidentally said out loud.
"What was that?" the leprachaun said. "nothing" Derek answered quickly. "Let's move along." the leprachaun said.
"This is where we recycle the loogies. Down there is the Pit of Boiling Mucus. Be careful, you wouldn't want to fall in, now would you?" "No, I wouldn't want to fall in, I want to go home now." "Okay, you know where the door is, well you know the general direction, at least. But I don't think you'd want to miss the treasury."
"Well, I guess I'll stay for a little while longer." So they went to the treasury, and saw a treasure chest of golden loogies, worth over 4.5 million dollars. "Time to go now" said the leprachaun. "Okay then, bye now."
Derek pretended to leave, but really he was plotting a way to steal the treasure chest of golden loogies. "I'll hide outside, wait til everyone leaves the treasury building, and then I'll sneak out with the treasure chest." So he waited until the evil leprachaun left the building, and then he slunk over and discovered that the door was locked. "Darn!" he said. Then he realized that he was trying to break into a mucus building!
He would just have to chew his way through! So he started taking huge chunks of the wall out with his teeth. A few minutes later, he was in! "Jackpot"! he yelled a little to loudly. He heard shouts, so he peeked out the hole he had made, and saw that the loogie leprachaun army was closing in fast. He knew that if he got caught stealing such a valueable treasure, the leprachaun might throw him into the Pit of Boiling Mucus!
He scrambled to the treasure chest, grabbed it, squeezed out the hole in the mucus wall, and started for the door. Derek didn't know how heavy 4.5 million dollars of loogie gold could weigh.
He got to the cloud, but he started sinking from the weight of his treasure. He knew he couldn't make it all the way down the loogie-stalk with the treasure chest, so he dropped the treasure chest, and prayed that it wouldn't hit his mother. The loogie leprachaun army was on his tail, so he scrambled down the loogie-stalk as fast as the sticky mucus would let him. Much to his dismay, he saw most of the loogie leprachaun army following him down the loogie-stalk. When he got near the bottom, he jumped to the ground a started chewing through the loogie-stalk.
It was tough going. The roots were very thick, and the loogie leprachaun army was getting closer and closer! All of a sudden, he heard a loud gooshing sound! He looked up and saw a wall of loogie coming down on him!
He ran as fast as he could toward his house. "Derek!" he heard his mom calling for him. He tried to answer, but it felt like he was covered in some kind of phleghm "Derek! time for school!" He woke up and realized that he had mucused the bed!
"Oh, great, now I'm going to have to take a shower!" He thought as he got up and looked out the window.
There wasn't a loogie-stalk, but the loogie he had tossed out there last night was still there. Derek smiled, climbed out the window, and ate the loogie. He started to go back inside, but something caught his eye. It was a treasure chest filled with golden loogies! He and his mom lived happily ever after.

The End

lumpycustard · 09-23-2005, 02:13 PM

Oh

My

Goodness

**McLuvinjesus** · 09-24-2005, 06:48 AM

Yeah, I know. It's pretty great, huh? enjoy.

lumpycustard · 09-24-2005, 08:34 AM

What a total waste of time! It was enough of a waste of time to read it... but to write it? You must have a sad life.

**McLuvinjesus** · 09-24-2005, 08:39 AM

what can I say? it only took 7 and a half minutes to write. I wrote it to make underpriveledged children smile. everyone should be able to dream about a magic loogie of hope.

lumpycustard · 09-24-2005, 08:58 AM

Okay... well you inspired me. I wrote the Ugl Barnacle. check it out.

**Skeeter** · 09-24-2005, 03:21 PM

Right. This is CPF-fodder.

Moved.

canguru2 · 09-25-2005, 06:50 AM

Let me just make this clear

I am not related to Napoleon17 in any way at all.

danalyn · 09-25-2005, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeeter

Right. This is CPF-fodder.

Moved.

firstly, he put this somewhere else?!?

secondly, this is the most disgusting thing I've ever read. Canguru, are you sure you're not 17 and he's 12???

canguru2 · 09-25-2005, 02:46 PM

Yes, I'm absolutely positive. I'm only 13. He's definitely 17.

*giggles*

Gsus_Rawks · 09-25-2005, 02:51 PM

Wow! Touching! it made me cry! It moved me.

**mtlmouth** · 09-25-2005, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canguru2

Yes, I'm absolutely positive. I'm only 13. He's definitely 17.

*giggles*

This serves as further proof that girls mature before guys.

**McLuvinjesus** · 09-25-2005, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by danalyn

firstly, he put this somewhere else?!?

secondly, this is the most disgusting thing I've ever read. Canguru, are you sure you're not 17 and he's 12???

Written any poems, reviews, stories, plays, or anything else that can be defined as literature? Post it in here to receive critique, suggestions, and tips.

I defined it as literature. It's a story, isn't it? I'm being censored!

j/k

danalyn · 09-25-2005, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Napoleon17

Written any poems, reviews, stories, plays, or anything else that can be defined as literature? Post it in here to receive critique, suggestions, and tips.

I defined it as literature. It's a story, isn't it? I'm being censored!

j/k

well... I guess mindless drivel can be loosely defined as literature...