[Jeffrey]

quote Shade's wife

by j. bryan shoup

In my innermost thoughts, which (begrudgingly)
..................I offer up to God alone, of course
The carnal art (sex) becomes something
..................free & unpredictable
& in fleeting daydreamlands the noble young lady sitting
beside me becomes a (shrieking harlot? perfumed Helen?)

"Let me...

Won't you...

Right now...

...until daylight breaks."

& when the carnal Celephais fades
...........I am left with shock & shame
...........staining my cobblestones and no
...........amount of Freudian or Eliot's rain
...........from the Europhile's "noble ancient's heaven"
...........(nearly a debtor's prison, where those
...........in debt place those to whom
...........they are quite indebted, you see)
...........can wash me clean & change my mind
Why do I dream thusly? It must be something
intrinsic that leads to folklore sung in blue notes
(Drinky Crow fathers a child with a hillside)
Yet the thoughts of courting & wooing, sharing coach & couch, meeting
parents & taking tandem bike-rides down south intimidate me
They limit my dreams to an understanding of sex where I decide
I may not have the energy to be a well-skilled carnal artist

& finally: men dream of women that think like men, and women dream of men
that are either Daddy or his Polar Opposite
I've given it second and third thoughts
I've got nothing when it comes to resolve on the issue
I may take my arts elsewhere (quote Shade's wife: "virgins
have written some resplendent works!")

[Skeeter]

Besides the typo in the first line (begrudgingly), this is fantastic. Pristine and eloquent, you may have authored one of the best arguments for your continued virginity if this is where your talents will go instead.

[Jeffrey]

Originally Posted by Skeeter

Besides the typo in the first line (begrudgingly), this is fantastic.

Whoops!

[Jeffrey]

Originally Posted by Skeeter

you may have authored one of the best arguments for your continued virginity if this is where your talents will go instead.

Definitely a goal of the last part of the poem, I will admit. Perhaps I was thinking along the lines of Hildegard von Bingen. The rest of the poem more owes itself to (dare I admit it?) stopping midway into a "dirty thought" and being shocked, a bit, at the absurdity of it and the struggle of being a man in this regard.

This is one of the few poems I first wrote onto paper and then transcribed here (hence the near-invisible gray dots to give me proper indentation as I had it on paper).

[Skeeter]

Originally Posted by Jeffrey

Definitely a goal of the last part of the poem, I will admit. Perhaps I was thinking along the lines of Hildegard von Bingen. The rest of the poem more owes itself to (dare I admit it?) stopping midway into a "dirty thought" and being shocked, a bit, at the absurdity of it and the struggle of being a man in this regard.

Ah yes, I know that one. I know very little of how the union between man and woman will actually occur in my own life and the tricks my imagination plays on me are pitiful when I look at them a little closer. I identified strongly with this piece and I believe it is at least close to my favorite of your works.