[walkwjc]

Texts recovered in the Gulf of Mexico Scrolls.

1DONNIE
CHAPTER 1

1Greetings and salutations! The word of Pedro came unto Donnie son of Bob of the tribe of Lawsonites. 2 Get up and go to the great city of Corpus Christi, Texas and preach against littering, because their foulness has confronted me. 3 However, Donnie got up and fled Pedro’s presence to the town of Aransas Pass and found a Shrimp Boat going to the Gulf of Mexico.
4 Then Pedro hurled a violent wind on the sea, and such a violent wind on the Gulf and such a storm arose on the sea that the shrimp boat was threatened to break in peices. 5 The shrimpers were afraid and each upchucked his breakfast and then threw all the cargo into the sea. Meanwhile Donnie had gone down in the hold of the ship and was cooking some shrimp gumbo for dinner. The captain approached him and said, “What are you doing cooking? Get up on deck and call your God and apologize for running away like a little sissy man.”
6 Donnie went up on deck and the shrimpers began to cast lots to decide who to throw overboard. 7 Since Donnie was the biggest and decidedly the best looking, they decided he would be the one. 8 They asked him, “Who are you and what is your country? What people are you from?”
9 He answered them, ”I am Texan. I worship Taco Bell, the food of God.”
10 Then the Shrimpers were even more afraid of him said, “What have you done? You have not finished lunch yet and called Pedro’s wrath down upon us?
11 He answered to them, “I ain’t going back, so if you think it would do any good you can throw me overboard to quiet the storm.” So they did. 12 Pedro spared the men, and Donnie was washed upon the shore of Wyoming and eaten by a large bear appointed by the Lord.

[*]

You have regained status as my favorite Geezer. Mad props to you.

[fallinguprawks]

you did the right thing. oh wait- no you didn't. never mind then.

[Meggie moo moo]

What lovely reading that was.

[walkwjc]

Originally Posted by Meggie moo moo

What lovely reading that was.

Oh but wait that is only chapter 1! Glee!

[Meggie moo moo]

My heart is curs-ed with merriment. Thine information has excitened thee! One cannot simply sit whistfully and waiteth for thee next installment!

[Big_al]

Originally Posted by Meggie moo moo

My heart is curs-ed with merriment. Thine information has excitened thee! One cannot simply sit whistfully and waiteth for thee next installment!

ummm.....yeah......me too

[walkwjc]

Texts recovered in the Gulf of Mexico Scrolls.

1DONNIE
CHAPTER 2

1Then Donnie prayed to Pedro, lord of Taco Bell from inside the belly of the bear: 2 I called to Pedro in distress, for the bear had eaten a beehive before me, and He answered me. I cried out for help from the belly of hell; and He heard my voice. 3 You threw me into the depths, onto the heart of the Gulf of Mexico and the currents deposited me in Montana. All your waves swept over me, and a group of people tried to push me back into the sea. 4 But I said: I have been banished from Pedro’s sight and the land of four wheel drive trucks, but alas, I will look toward your holy Taco Bell once more. 5 Water engulfed me and sea crabs dangled from me. 6 I sank to the foundations of the ant hills and the way was barred to my return! But you raised me from the belly of hell. 7 As my life lay fading away, I remembered Pedro, and what he told me. My exhortation was of the truth that I had been told: 8 Those who throw their worthless trash on the side of the road will be fined and imprisoned and will be forsaken, because you just don’t mess with Texas, 9 but as for me, I will sacrifice my Saturday and adopt a highway with a voice of thanksgiving and rejoice. I will fulfill what I have vowed. Keeping this place beautiful is of the Pedro. 10 Then the voice of Pedro boomed and the bear vomited Donnie back into the water, and the currents carried him back to Corpus Christi.

[Gwenny]

Originally Posted by walkwjc

Texts recovered in the Gulf of Mexico Scrolls.

1DONNIE
CHAPTER 2

1Then Donnie prayed to Pedro, lord of Taco Bell from inside the belly of the bear: 2 I called to Pedro in distress, for the bear had eaten a beehive before me, and He answered me. I cried out for help from the belly of hell; and He heard my voice. 3 You threw me into the depths, onto the heart of the Gulf of Mexico and the currents deposited me in Montana. All your waves swept over me, and a group of people tried to push me back into the sea. 4 But I said: I have been banished from Pedro’s sight and the land of four wheel drive trucks, but alas, I will look toward your holy Taco Bell once more. 5 Water engulfed me and sea crabs dangled from me. 6 I sank to the foundations of the ant hills and the way was barred to my return! But you raised me from the belly of hell. 7 As my life lay fading away, I remembered Pedro, and what he told me. My exhortation was of the truth that I had been told: 8 Those who throw their worthless trash on the side of the road will be fined and imprisoned and will be forsaken, because you just don’t mess with Texas, 9 but as for me, I will sacrifice my Saturday and adopt a highway with a voice of thanksgiving and rejoice. I will fulfill what I have vowed. Keeping this place beautiful is of the Pedro. 10 Then the voice of Pedro boomed and the bear vomited Donnie back into the water, and the currents carried him back to Corpus Christi.

You shouldn't do things like this when you're tired Donnie.

[Jc]

Yay! I am thrilled and my heart leaps at the hearing of these things.

[fallinguprawks]

That's awesome, Donnie

But I must point out a plothole When a bear eats you, doesn't it usually chew? I've never in my life been eaten by a bear that swallowed me whole

[walkwjc]

Originally Posted by fallinguprawks

That's awesome, Donnie

But I must point out a plothole When a bear eats you, doesn't it usually chew? I've never in my life been eaten by a bear that swallowed me whole

Jesse, This was written over 3000 yrs ago. Do you KNOW HOW BIG THE FREAKIN BEARS WERE BACK THEN? They won all the superbowls.
I am just thankfull that we were able to recover them from the Gulf of Mexico, and translate them from Mexibrew.

[lumpycustard]

I think it should be a giant Chiwawa...

[Jc]

Originally Posted by lumpycustard

I think it should be a giant Chiwawa...

What is this Chiwawa? Is it some sort of guitar distortion device??



Or perhaps you meant Chihuahua?

[sazahko]

A Chiwawa is a wawa pedal that influences the very life force (chi) of both the listener and the player. The new edition also makes wicked-awesome sweet and sour pork. Complete with extremely fake Chinese accent! Buy yours today! Only 32 pesos per square inch!

-Sazzy