[Jeffrey]

The Secret of Gin

by j. bryan shoup

Whether it's gin or jinn knocking at my door, it's all spirits one way or another. I'll take them all down the hatch - thinning my resolve or letting ancestors get a pawhold on my voicebox. This old **** rocks, this stuff from 1997 - when men were men and better ensembles drew a full crowd. There was this moment at a Slapstick concert when the microphones all went out - the lads & lasses in attendance raised up the refrain, singing again & again "I don't believe in anything at all." Tell me that sort of call & response doesn't give you a bit of a religious thrill. I'm killing time with Horus & Chokaro (back alley, avoidin' my old lady an' shooting dice) - tomorrow I'm due to teach metaphysics to mice. It's nice weather we're having - it's raining gin from the top of neon clouds. Loud, proud (and rowdy), the crowd is still singing out "I don't believe in anything all," even fire exits. I'm making my way through the flames (fueled by the gin) and I'm the only one thinking of escape, so I'm the only one who'll have a bootleg tape to remember the night by (everyone's going to fry, they've got their mouth wide open for Old Tom and the studio regards this little art film as a bomb so there will be no sequel). Everyone is my equal in regards to anything I've ever set my mind to - you could do it better if you took the time.

[Nate]

Originally Posted by Jeffrey

Loud, proud (and rowdy), the crowd is still singing out "I don't believe in anything all," even fire exits.

With the proliferation of hyphens and parentheses in this piece, why didn't you set off "even fire exits" in a similar fashion? It's sort of hard to read / comprehend with the way it is now (using just a comma, that is).

Oh well.

[Jeffrey]

Originally Posted by Nate

With the proliferation of hyphens and parentheses in this piece, why didn't you set off "even fire exits" in a similar fashion? It's sort of hard to read / comprehend with the way it is now (using just a comma, that is).

Oh well.

Hm, interesting idea. I did it that way as if to make it close to the thought of them crying "I don't believe in anything at all." As if they are so unaware of their surroundings or in such radical disbelief that they won't attend to the pressing matters of a fire raging around them.

I think it would work with many forms of punctuation, but I wanted to slip it in subtly.

[SmileAndFollow]

I'm making my way through the flames (fueled by the gin) and I'm the only one thinking of escape, so

The (fueled by gin) didnt really seem to fit and kind of over did the reference to gin for me anyways. That was the only thing that stuck out in a bad way when I read through it. I really enjoyed everything else. Muy bueno.

[guitarczar]

Hmm... you ramble on, but I like it. It's reminds of Bob Dylan stringing all his words out in a drawl.