The Idon'twantthesestinkin'animalsanymore Blues

Mara's Mom · 07-17-2005, 11:33 PM

Our puppy smells like urine. No, she hasn't been laying in pee. She was eating a bone that's coated in something that was supposedly bacon flavored, but actually smells like urine. What genius developed this product?

I don't love stinky dogs.

Our kitten has ringworm. We're probably going to blind her left eye because of this foul lotion we have to put on her fur. AND we're probably going to all get ringworm and OUR hair is going to fall out.

I don't love kittens with fungal infections.

Her aim is off when she uses the litter box.

I don't love kittens that pee on the floor. Even when it is an accident.

Oh yeah...and she purrs when she's biting us.

I don't love kittens that find such pure enjoyment out of inflicting injury.

Pet ownership is all hype.

Sunkist · 07-17-2005, 11:52 PM

I was housesitting a couple weeks ago for a friend who has cats... Not fun. It's safe to say I will never own a cat. Or a dog. Or anything else that requires that much work, is that annoying, and smells that bad.

There's this fishtank that has plastic fish that swim around in it, but they look like real fish. That's my kind of pet: a plastic fish. Does is smell yucky? No. Does it make a mess in your house? No. Does it eat things you leave on the bathroom counter? No. Do you have to feed it? No. Do you have to clean its poo-poo? No.

Nate · 07-18-2005, 12:05 AM

Wow. I'm glad our pets are at least semi-normal. All they do is eat, sleep, and crap... with the occasional "break-everything-in-the-house-by-running-around-like-a-raving-lunatic" attack.

**H.M. Murdock** · 07-18-2005, 12:06 AM

My cats all pur while they lick my hands and lay down in my lap.

You just have sub-par pets. I am sorry.

Sunkist · 07-18-2005, 12:27 AM

My friends' cats are just completely insane, that's all.

Mara's Mom · 07-18-2005, 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock

You just have sub-par pets.

like a knife in the heart *bleed*

Andrew · 07-18-2005, 08:09 AM

I wish I had a cat that was like Jason's.

I have two cats the resemble MM's kitten closely. Except. A little more violent.

Gwenny · 07-18-2005, 08:50 AM

we have two dogs, and a bout a jillion cats, we live on a farm, so tons of barn cats. Anyways, our dog Prince, who is still in his puppy stage, is insane, he falls in our manure pit at least once a day, and wants to rub up on me, and it's so disgusting. I have to hose him off all the time.

Sunkist · 07-18-2005, 09:42 AM

Ew.

**Mara** · 07-18-2005, 10:30 AM

Chilli Dog (the cat) is a meanie and I don't like her. We need a nice kittie.

The puppy is cute, so we have to keep her. But she's naughty sometimes. And that bone does stink. I think it's outside right now, though.

Nate · 07-18-2005, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mara

Chilli Dog (the cat) is a meanie and I don't like her. We need a nice kittie.

No wonder she's mean. You'd be mean, too, if you had such a terrible name.

walkwjc · 07-18-2005, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mara

Chilli Dog (the cat) is a meanie and I don't like her. We need a nice kittie.

The puppy is cute, so we have to keep her. But she's naughty sometimes. And that bone does stink. I think it's outside right now, though.

A cat named Chili Dog. Every dogs dream.

I finally finished your song.

**H.M. Murdock** · 07-18-2005, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nate

No wonder she's mean. You'd be mean, too, if you had such a terrible name.

I rarely call my cats by their names. I call them "Stupid," "Tubby" or "Moron." They are still nice to me.

I guess calling them those names would be accurate, then, huh?

See, my cats used to be insane. They would run up my jeans and hang off of my belt like growling pouches of kitty intestines. They would bite and gnaw. So I spanked them, and now they know their limits. They play when I start the rough-housing and we have a good ole' time.

walkwjc · 07-18-2005, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock

I rarely call my cats by their names. I call them "Stupid," "Tubby" or "Moron." They are still nice to me.

I guess calling them those names would be accurate, then, huh?

See, my cats used to be insane. They would run up my jeans and hang off of my belt like growling pouches of kitty intestines. They would bite and gnaw. So I spanked them, and now they know their limits. They play when I start the rough-housing and we have a good ole' time.

You will make a good or bad parent one of these days HMMurdock.

Nate · 07-18-2005, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by walkwjc

You will make a good or bad parent one of these days HMMurdock.

Hahaha.