[+Donny]

1. A player's deck of cards may contain only 72 cards, unless 26 of them are green, in which case the player may have a 73rd card, but said card must be placed in the graveyard immediately and can only be used on a Tuesday.
If the game is started in the month of Nisan, both players must removed 20 cards at random from their deck, leaving them with 52 cards (or 53 in the case of the 26 green card exception). If the game continues through the end of Nisan, the 20 cards may be returned to the deck at random, though if any Jewish cards were removed, the player placing them back in the deck must pay 1 purple mana and two barrels of oil per creature card, and 2 purple mana and one forest per non-creature, non-land card to return them. If the player cannot pay, the cards not payed for are placed in a reserved, Jewish-Nisan pile and may be returned to one's hand from then on at any time (including during an opponent's turn as an instant) for 2 red mana, 1 barrel of oil, and 1 forest per card, regardless of type. Jewish land cards, such as "Razed Jerusalem", may be returned for free. Only two of any specific type of card may be used.

2. No futuristic cards may be played. The word "futuristic" is here being used to regarding cards beyond the year 2100. Cards in the "near future" category, such as "Jason Get's a Life", "Adam Grows up", and "Invasion of Canasa", may be used.

3. A player's hand consists of seven cards, unless I say differently, in which case a player's hand may consist of X cards, where X is a number I feel like saying. In such a case, I will say "garble worble olsen ramen X", where X is the number of cards each player must have in his hand. If X is lower than the number of cards in each player's hand, each player must discard cards to attain to X. Such cards are chosen by the player himself. If X is higher than the number of cards in each player's hand, cards are taken from the top of the deck to attain to X.

4. At the beginning of the game, each player draws seven cards. They may play up to 3 cards in a turn, though only one minor deity, demi-god, or just generally kickass card, unless altered by the "Double Whammy" card, where the player may play two of the aforementioned cards. Each card, where relevant, can only use a single ability/attack per turn. Creature cards suffer from the "summoning runs" the first turn they are put into play, and thus cannot use any ability the first turn in play, though they may use defensive abilities on the opponent's next turn. Area affect abilities are also immediately effective. At the beginning of a player's turn, they draw cards to equal seven. If they have more than seven, no cards must be discarded.

4Q.In addition to playing cards normally, 1 card per turn can be placed in the "ambush" area. 1 card per two turns may also be placed in the "Oooh, this is going to suck for you" area. Such cards must be played the next turn, and have their powers doubled. Demi-gods, minor deities, and other kickass cards may not be played in the "oooh, this is going to suck for you" area.

5. Parental cards are restricted. They have been thusly deemed too powerful by the Dean's Office of Role Playing (DORP).

6. Each player has 1000 life, unless I decide I don't like them, in which case their life drops to 999.

7. Creature cards are limited to a natural attack ability of 173, which can be altered via enchantments and other such non-creature, non-land, non-whatever cards.

8. No Lutherans are allowed to play.

9. Mana musteth neverest beest tossedething toward another player.

10. Hitler-type cards can only be played in conjunction with a Reich-type card.

11. No running with scissors.

12. X, where X is a random rule I choose to make up if I feel bored.

13. If a player plays contradictory cards, they attack each other. For example, if a player plays a "French Resistance Fighter", and then attempts to play a 3rd Reich card, the card presently in play attacks the contradictory card automatically, regardless of other effects and previous actions (which means the creature could possibly attack twice in one turn). If the card in play that would normally attack in such a creature is in the "drunk", "charmed", or "fatalistisized" state (the "fatalistisized" state is when a creature is made to believe everything is meaningless and is unable to do anything but sulk), it does not attack the contradictory card. In the case if non-creature cards, or areas where there is unsurenessism as to whether there is contradiction, I will make a unique ruling.

14. Greek cards must be played using the Greek alphabet. You can speak in english, just sound out the words using Greek. If there is an error in the sounding, the player loses 1 life per letter of error.

15. Adam will go first, as Jason did last time. Goeth!

15b. On the 6th turn, I will randomly play a creature card for both players, which can be used on the next turn. Such creature cards will not be contradictory and will be pulled out of my nose.

15c. Turns begin and end with a single player's actions. IOW, Adam's first turn is turn 1. Jason's first turn is turn 2. Adam's second turn is turn 3, and so on.

[hapa_angel]

*cough* Stickified. *cough*






Carry on.



*ducks out of thread, keeping eye on it*

[Insane Drummer]

Do we have to submit a master list of our 72 card desk via PM to the Donny. Thus the cards will all be known before the game begins.

[+Donny]

No. I wouldn't read it.

[Insane Drummer]

Originally Posted by +Donny

No. I wouldn't read it.

Good I didn't want to type it.

[Lightknight]

I can't believe you actually read his post

[+Donny]

This is a staged rematch, if he doesn't read the rules, he loses. Shut up your friggin mouth, Gavinface.

[Lightknight]

Card 1: *Donny Shuts up*
Card 2: *Donny gets arrested for sprinkling his neighbor's babies...*

[WintryFrenchie]

It should be noted that this re-match will be slow to begin in earnest, as I will be in San Diego for a week as of tomorrow.

I draw my seven cards…

1- I draw Alexander the Great (my demi-god/kickass creature). He is my supreme commander and as such, I get a bonus to ambush and strategy cards. It should be noted that Alexander was not, contrary to popular belief, Greek. He was, in fact, Macedonian. The reason for this myth is that one of Alexander’s first conquests was of Greece. If this deserves to be counted as a Greek card, then all moves made with this card will be written (phonically) in Greek. I do not believe the Greek rule should apply, however. It is as Donny decides. No Life Points can be subtracted for this turn if I do not speak in Greek. Alexander is placed in the COMMAND position, to the rear.

2- I draw a rabid duck-billed platypus. Not only is this platypus generally irate due to being rabid, but he also gets a humorous bonus. One random creature (to be decided by +Donny) will be unable to ATTACK every third turn due to the duck-billed platypus having such a funny name. This creature will be able to defend and implement other non-aggressive moves during the turn that his ATTACK ability is disabled. I place my duck-billed platypus in the ATTACK position, on the left side.

3- I draw Jason Smith. Jason guards my flanks closely. Very, very closely. If any creature attacks Alexander, they have a 40% chance to be frightened away and a 25% chance of becoming manically depressed. It should be noted that Jason has a very low attack rating. In fact, his most powerful attack is the “F bomb” (a maximum of 75 HP without aid). However, he is extremely loyal and great at DEFENCE. Jason defends Alexander’s Flanks in the DEFENCE position.

4- I draw George W. Bush and I put him in the ATTACK position on my right flank. Bush has a bonus against Terrorists, Creatures of Middle-Eastern decent and Communist creatures. He isn’t the best creature for diplomacy, but he is great at attacking things.

5- I draw Phalanx. Phalanx is a defensive creature, with incredible bonuses against mounted creatures. Their attack isn’t the most effective, though the Phalanx’s ability to ADVANCE makes its attack formidable. The Phalanx is weak from attacks from opponent’s right or left creatures, unless turned toward the opposing creature’s direction by its ability, WHEEL. As my flanks are covered, however, this should not be a problem for the Phalanx as of yet. I put the Phalanx on Defense in the CENTER.

6- I draw an Ambush card and place it in the Ambush slot.

7- I draw Drummer and place him behind my Phalanx. The Drummer is a non-aggressive creature. However, the Drummer makes up for this by raising morale and issuing orders. If I need to WHEEL my Phalanx, I can beat the drums to issue the orders for them to do so DURING THE OPPONENTS TURN at a cost of 50 mana. It should be noted that the Drummer has 150 mana. RAISE MORALE is a passive attribute, meaning that as long as the Drummer lives, the morale of my army is raised at no expense.

NOTE: This does not count as my turn. I simply set up my forces. Jason has yet to set up his. As there is no opposing force yet, I can not make my turn

[+Donny]

I'm sorry, but there is no "I simply set up my forces" phase. You may only play three cards. You have drawn your seven cards, but they are in your hand. You must play 3 (or less) from your hand to the playing field. Please redo your turn with this in mind.

Just to clarify, again, there may only be 3 cards played per turn, including enchantments, creatures, or anything else. Only one of these three cards may be a demi-god, minor deity, or kick-ass card.

In addition to these three cards, one card may be placed in the ambush area. This card is not revealed when played, but may be played from the ambush area to the playing field after it has been in the ambush area for one turn in addition to the regular 3 cards played onto the playing field. There are no bonuses when played from the ambush area, you just get to play an additional card every two turns this way.
Also, the ambush area may only have one creature in it at a time (only creatures are allowed). If you try to play another into the ambush area, you lose 800,000 life and are beaten with a wooden mallet, and your brains eaten out with a fork (I've seen the fork). Since the "place a card in the ambush area" phase" is before the "put your cards in the playing field" phase (for more details on the 150 phases in a turn, see volume 5 of the game manual, entitled ___?!), you only end up getting an additional creature to play every two turns.

Furthermore, in addition to the normal 3 cards, and the ambush card process thingy, you may, every two turns, play a card from your hand into the "Oooh, this is going to suck for you" area. This card, like a card played in the ambush area, can be played the next turn for that player. However, it can be any card in the player's deck except for a demi-god, minor deity, or kickass card. This means you can put an enchantment here, but not Mike Portnoy. When the card is played from the "Oooh, this is going to suck for you" area, it's abilities are doubled, permanently. Like the ambush area, there may only be one card in the "oooh, this is going to suck for you" area, and there must also be a one turn delay after playing from this area, which means you can only get a card from this area to the playing field every three turns, as the "put a card in the Oooh, this is going to suck for you area" phase precedes the "put a card in the playing field" phase. A player can only play a card from the "Oooh, this is going to suck for you" area three times in the whole game.

You also may only have a maximum of 5 creature cards on the board at once, though enchantments and other cards are not limited. In the event of a terrorist attack or natural disaster, the creature card limit is removed for speedy end of game. If a player dies for any reason that is not caused by the opposing player, the living player wins. If the player's death is caused by the opposing player, the opposing player is to be blown to bits by a grenade and the player he murdered wins, meaning his cards and the cards he won from his murderer goes to his closest blood relative if no will has been drawn out.
If both player's die, whether a fight is begun, or by circumstances out of their control, the cards are sacrificed to the Mother Goddess at the next local coven meeting. If a player kills another player in self-defense, the living player wins.

[bassboy211]

私の犬はちょうどfarted 、実際に悪臭を放つ

[WintryFrenchie]

Okay....

But, if there is no set-up phase, what do I attack? Right now, Jason hasn't put anything on the board. As there is NOTHING on the board, when I lay out my cards it shouldn't count as a turn. Both sides should lay out their hand and THEN start playing.

If not, than Jason has an uber advantage, for he will know what I have laid out, create cards specifically for them and draw first blood as well, as I will be unable to attack his then non-existant creatures.

Alrighty, then.

I keep my Alexander the Great card and place him in the CENTER of my forces.

I also keep my Jason Smith card and place him on the RIGHT flank.

I also keep the duck-billed platypus and place him on the LEFT flank.

I keep my ambush card where it was, in the face-down position.

I also place a card in the "Ooh, this is going to suck for you" position.

I await Jason's set-up.

[Insane Drummer]

I draw my 7 cards.

I place a card in Ambush mode face down.

I play my Mahatma Ghandi card and place him in my CENTER and slightly to the REAR.

I play my Historian card and place him on my RIGHT slightly ahead of Ghandi, and right next to his magical library of DOOM (it comes with the card, I am not cheating).

I play a Large Heavy Rock card and set the rock on my LEFT (opposing your right). The rock cannot move or attack, but it can be enchanted.

[Lightknight]

I place only one card. The death card.
*Donny Dies*

[Mathijs]

Originally Posted by Lightknight

I place only one card. The death card.
*Donny Dies*

*coughreadthethreadtitlecough*
and take your personal vedetta out of here
*walks around whistling and looking innocent*

*sits down and watches the match*