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Unread 05-26-2005, 05:47 AM   #1
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What should a step-mother wear to the wedding?

My husband is the bride's real father. He will be wearing a tuxedo to give his daughter away.

I don't want to outdress the real mothers. That's unlikely because I'm the most conservative.

Should I wear a formal? Should I dye shoes to match? Would a shorter dress be more appropriate?

I found a formal that's not bad. It has a beaded, short sleeve top with a plain skirt. The dress only comes in a light, muted green; light peach; or bold, light periwinkle. Periwinkle would most flatter me. Perhaps the green would more accurately reflect my age and low rank in the family. Ideally, I would like to wear navy blue.

Against the bride's wishes, the groom has chosen to wear baby blue.

If it takes place, the wedding will be 1 year from now.

Perhaps I should scour the planet for a dress when the Christmas and New Year holidays arrive.

I will appreciate any input.
Thanks!

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Unread 05-26-2005, 11:04 PM   #2
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navy blue is conservative and... not flashy. I think that would be a safe color. were you thinking suit? dress? I gather it's a rather fancy affair...
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Unread 05-27-2005, 07:36 AM   #3
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Thanks danalyn.

I think it will be a regular wedding. The men will wear tuxedos. My husband will be wearing a tuxedo is part of my concern. I need to be careful not to under dress.

That's the thing. I don't want to over dress and I don't want to under dress. I'm somebody but I'm the least important somebody. My escort will be dressed to the hilt.

I have been considering the off whites and browns too. The bride wears white. Her mother wears a shade of off white or darker to show that she is a mature woman. I am speaking in general here. Not my specific case.

This must be a very difficult question for young Christians to answer. It's hard for me. I do think that many here have very good taste and that is what I was looking for.

At the store, it's the persons job to sell what's there. They won't necessarily give me proper advice concerning my place in the family.

Let's try this. What did your mother wear? Your husband's mother? Your Grandmothers?

Do you think it would be appropriate to wear a suit if your escort is wearing a tux?

If I went with a formal, would that be too much like trying to push my way into the wedding party?

The dying of the shoes has me completely off balance. Would you dye your shoes to go out on New Years Eve?
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The words that I write are only my opinion and each of you is most certainly entitled to have an opinion of your own.
ff
The Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is His name.
Luke 1:49
He brought me to the banqueting house and His banner over me was love.
Song of Solomon 2:4

Self reminders:
Fellow Christian Acquaintance, in a congregational setting, with Pastor = BALT

Judgment - holding people accountable to a standard we did not create.
Judgmentalness - thinking ourselves morally superior because we have not committed the acts of others.
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Unread 05-27-2005, 11:24 AM   #4
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Etiquette wise NO ONE is supposed to wear white because that takes away from the bride who is supposed to be the focus. In my wedding my mom wore a beautiful formal shade of lighter muted green, it was almost moss but lighter. My mother-in-law wore a beautiful shade formal golden shade. Etiquette wise as far as the mother-in-law goes they are supposed to wear cream, gold, anything neutral basically.

Personally if I were the bride I wouldn't want you in navy that is a bit to bold. I wouldn't suggest wearing a suit unless it's one of those formal suites like you can find in a formal dress shop or David's bridal. What I mean by a formal suit, I'm talking about something that flows, the pants almost look like a skirt or a skirted suit. Depending on the season I think a nice neutral color like gold or cream would be a great color, either that or a very muted yellow, green, and possibly blue. This also depends on the wedding colors, do not pick a shade close to the bridesmaids either.

I know this is very complicated and you want to look beautiful but remember the wedding is about the bride and groom. Just wear something that makes you feel comfortable and confident. I have a couple questions also, how close are you to the bride, what are the wedding colors (what season will they be getting married in), and what color are the bridesmaids wearing? This may help with the advice . I'll try to find some picture examples if I can. Good luck!
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Unread 05-27-2005, 11:40 AM   #5
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Couldn't you just ask the bride what she'd like you to wear?
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Unread 05-27-2005, 11:42 AM   #6
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ok here are some pictures....

1. I like this one it's very pretty and the color is flattering on almost anyone
2. This is very similar to the color my mom wore, this is also a very flattering color on most, if not everyone.
3. This one is very simple but also very pretty
4. This is a very muted green, my mom's dress also had this color because she had sheer long sleeves and they were this color. This color would also be good.
5. This is the type of suit I was talking about, but NOT in this color lol. Something like this in a neutral or muted color would be very appropriate as well.
Maybe these can give you a better idea, I hope this helps!
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Unread 05-27-2005, 11:17 PM   #7
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my grandmother was "mother of the bride" and she wore a pink dress suit. My step mother wore an off-white dress suit. Chris' mom wore a black pantsuit with blue pinstripes.
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Unread 05-28-2005, 09:01 AM   #8
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my mom wore a cream color pilazzo pants set with a fancy shirt..my mother in law wore some weird looking yellow dress (that I was not too happy about, but you have to pick your battles) I'd just check with the bride see what she would like you to wear.
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Unread 05-31-2005, 03:35 AM   #9
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My mom wore a dazzling silver dress that nearly out-did me (which didnt matter to me). But my mother-in-law wore a pretty, conservative off -white pants suit. I think that would be ideal in your situation. Her husband was decked out in a kilt like the groom and the best man, but she still looked just fine next to him in just a pants suit. She wore silver strappy shoes with it to dress it up so it still looked formal.

But I agree with Nate's advice--why not just ask the bride? Both mothers asked me and I told them.
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Unread 05-31-2005, 05:54 AM   #10
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Thank you all.
__________________
The words that I write are only my opinion and each of you is most certainly entitled to have an opinion of your own.
ff
The Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is His name.
Luke 1:49
He brought me to the banqueting house and His banner over me was love.
Song of Solomon 2:4

Self reminders:
Fellow Christian Acquaintance, in a congregational setting, with Pastor = BALT

Judgment - holding people accountable to a standard we did not create.
Judgmentalness - thinking ourselves morally superior because we have not committed the acts of others.
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