Motives?

[raz]

I've been the praise leader at my church for the last 2 years. Lately I've been challenging myself spiritually, and growing closer and closer to God. On the negative side, I've been tempted to stop leading the praise. The more I've been growing spiritually, the more I've been questioning my motives as to why I lead the praise. I really want to praise God, but it bothers me that I care what others think while I'm doing it. I don't think I should. I should be the same when I praise wether I'm alone or in front of the congregation. I've begged God to release me of this for the last month, but it just isn't happening. I'm still overly conscious of myself, and it's got me to the point of quitting. Everyone at church freaks when I tell them I'm thinking of dropping it, but I don't know what else to do. I don't feel right about it. Like I'm not at a spiritual level I need to be at to lead others in praise. Anyone else ever experienced this? Am I just having a pity party?

[Unregistered]

yeah. i know how you feel. i play in the worship band for Hope International University(it's this small christian college) and it's hard because you're always up front and people are looking at you and your walk with God. it gets frustrating because on one hand you just want to play for Jesus but at the same time people are coming up to you and giving you critiques on how well you played. i just want you to know that God has given you a special gift of leadership and musicality. all leaders at one point question their motives and the fact that you are evaluating your reasons for leading worship is showing that the Holy Spirit is maturing you. paul said in romans that our sinful nature is always going to be right there when we want to do good. but praise be to God because He purifies our motives and helps us to truly worship Him in spirit and truth. stick out man you can do it with God's help.

[kwikemartownr]

:confused: Sometimes we all look at ourselves and evaluate whether or not what we're doing is really for the right or wrong reasons. Raz, what you're going through is not a pity party, but the Holy Spirit truly blessing you and molding you into what God wants you to be.

As for you praise band, it's hard to let go of a responsibility that is scrutinized and under-apprieciated. Those that are praising with you in the band know who you are and know your spiritual status. Those that are praising that are not in the band see how you act and make their judgement on your spiritual status from just your actions. Those that know you will think leaving to reach a closer relationship with God will totally understand and will (I think) support you. However, those on the outside will see this as a spiritual weakness. My opinion (do not take this as a course of action unless it really makes sense to you) is that you follow your heart where God wants you to go, where you feel the closest with God. As for the others, your actions will show them that if you do move on, that you've moved on to greater and more spiritual goals.

Hope this helps. :)

[IAmCrossEyed]

I am running the risk of repeating something that has already been said, but here goes anyway.

When you take on the role of praise leader, you set yourself up under a microscope for all the world to look at and judge. But to come down really simple on this subject, just don't worry about what you are to the crowd. There is only one audience in praise and worship, and if you are doing your best to please Him, then you are already one of the best praise and worship leaders on the planet. So then you have nothing to fear about what others think of your leading ability. You have focused on pleasing the only One that is meant to be worshipped on this earth, and in doing so, you have led by example. Leading in worship sometimes requiring the leader to get on his face and say, "Oh God how can I serve You better?" Your worship leading is nothing to worry about, your worship is.

Hope I could help...

[raz]

Thanks for the encouragement. It's hard to believe sometimes how difficult it is to get encouragement from your own body of believers, your own church. But I'm sure I'm not the only one that has experienced this. It is a heavy burden, to always have to be at church and be ready to give and be 'poured out', and never be able to go and need to be uplifted myself. But that's what it feels like somtimes as the praise leader. You've got to always be ready to uplift and encourage, even when I look out and most the faces look like they'd rather be somewhere else. But if that's what He's called me to do, I'm gonna run the race, and run to win.

[MRGREEN23]

When your vision changes, it is time to move...

That is how it is done in the ministry..

When God has something different for you, then all of a sudden you loose your vision....It goes with God's word.

"Without a vision, the people perish"...

God will give that vision to someone else, and for you to stay there is not fair to you or your church.

God will give you a new vision, so Pray and seek Him for that vision..

Change is hard.. Growth is uncomfortable, but necessary.

Mr. Green....23